My last day out and it would teach me a couple of things.
There was a dress I really wanted that I had seen while out shopping with Diana. I had seen it at a Phase 8 concession in Debanhams. Unfortunately they didn't have my size. I decided to go to their shop on King St.
I found the shop and went in for a look. They didn't have the dress in black that I had originally seen, but there were ones in purple and grey. I didn't really like the purple, but loved the grey which I thought was nicer than the black I had seen. I kept looking at the grey and then got the courage up to ask the shop assistant about the sizes and which one might fit.
She smiled at me and said, 'You really like that one, it is beautiful'.
I answered, 'Yes'.
After a bit of discussion I bought a grey one. The shop assistant was really good and gave me some advice as well.
I now had to get some shoes with a heel to go with the dress.
I went on a search and took my time trying shoes in different shops to find a pair I could actually walk in.
I have a problem with heels for a few reasons. One is my height. I found a nice pair in M&S. It had been a productive morning shopping, but I don't think my credit card was happy.
I went then to Afflecks Market so see my friend at the crystal stall now renamed Crystalhenge. It's always a pleasure to see him and have a chat. We both have different beliefs. Me, I basically follow my own Wiccan path. I respect other people's beliefs. I do love chatting to other people about theirs as I feel you can always learn something that will help on this journey. My beliefs are my own I would never push them on anyone else. People have asked me questions on them. That's ok, but somethings are private.
I went back to my hotel to try my new dress on. I didn't try it in the shop because I find it a problem, so they told me if there were any problems to bring it back.
Terrible photo of me with new dress and shoes
The dress fitted fine and I was extremely happy with it and the shoes. This was a big departure from jeans for me. It is nice to get dressed up once in a while, but perhaps this was a mistake.
That evening I was meeting up with Kate. Unfortunately Diana and Kitty couldn't make it..
Before I met up with Kate, I called in at Manchester Concord which had moved to Villagio from NYNY. Diana and myself had bumped into Karen and Mary getting everything ready on the previous Saturday.
At Concord I had a lovely chat with Leigh who was out presenting as male that night. S/he really liked my outfit and jewellery.
Couldn't help myself with this picture. The necklace is my angel feathers that I have had for a long time. One of the first pieces of jewellery I bought in Manchester. There is also a heart wrist torque bangle and my wrist cuff bracelet which I wear a lot regardless of how I am presenting.
I was once never to bothered about jewellery, but now I love it and some pieces I own have become very special to me.
I went along to Taurus to meet Kate. It was great to see Kate again. I hadn't seen her much on this time out.
Kate in Taurus
In Taurus a gay man probably in his twenties went a bit over the top complementing me and how good I looked in my new dress. It was a bit much, but I had to smile. It is nice to get a complement on how you look, but to my way of thinking being almost invisible and not noticed is the best complement. I was getting noticed more than usual which was not good and I should have taken notice of the warning signs.
Kate and myself had a couple of drinks and then went to the Molly House. Kate did comment I looked taller and then noticed my shoes. The heels aren't high, but wearing any heel is unusual for me.
We ended up in Naps, my time out was coming to an end. A few dances and a couple of drinks, Kate then had to leave for home. It had been great seeing her and we said our farewells. I decided to stay in Naps for a bit longer which was a mistake.
I stayed to about 2am and then went to get my coat. The lady behind the bar at the cloakroom retrieved my coat and came round from behind the bar to help me on with it. Another unusual occurrence.
She smiled and bid me good night.
I walked towards Clone Zone and McTucky's fast food outlet on Sackville St. The road was busy with traffic. There were quite a few people at the fast food place. Some youths were loitering there.
At McTuckys 3 youths surrounded me. I heard a comment. 'Fucking Queer', and then laughter. The one on my right shoulder barged me. The one behind me had me worried and the one in front of me tried to block my way. I kept walking and felt another shoulder. I was bigger so he didn't impede me and I was ready. I got through and increased my pace. I got round the corner and increased my pace a bit more. I was headed towards the New Union where I was staying.
There were a couple of people walking up Canal St. I kept a fast pace about 20 to 30 yards behind me they were following. I got to GAY which was still open and I said to a female door person that I was been followed by 3 youths that had given me some hassle. I pointed to them. They had slowed and were laughing. They were still about at least 20 yards away. I then shot into the New Union and back to my room. I was quite shaken by the experience.
It was a horrible end to a wonderful time out. A couple of days later after I got home I filled out a crime report on the GIRES site.
http://www.gires.org.uk/,
I don't want to end this on a horrible note. I'd had a great time, but I did learn that drawing attention to myself with what I wear is not a good idea. The dress I bought, I don't know when and if I'll wear it again. I did find that I can move in the heels I bought, but they do increase my height which is not good.
Walking back with Kristina from the show on the Thursday and the cinema on the Tuesday with no hassle was a real confidence boost. I am not the most confident person. I know I am read when out. I look at my friends and how good they look. The way I walk and carry myself, coupled with my height gives me away everytime. Just looking at me, plenty of people have said, 'Thats a bloke'.
In the end thats ok, because I know the majority of people are busy getting on with their own lives to bother about me. All I really want is to be me and be able to go shopping, out for a drink and a meal, go to a show, visit art galleries and museums and travel to other places on the train or just use public transport without hinderance. It's all mundane and not much to ask for, but I guess some people are always going to see me as a figure to be laughed and pointed at. I can cope with that, but being so far from home, physical intimidation is a different matter. The simple fact is, if I have to defend myself, I will.
I'd learned quite a bit from the different people I spoke to, but there was one thing my friend Diana did for me that really made my trip.
Diana had made up a wonderful DVD from photos and short video clips of when herself, Kate and Kitty took me to Blackpool last year for my birthday..
When I got home I watched it and it really lifted my spirit. It's something I really treasure.
Diana if you read this. Thank You My Friend.
I've set up for my next trip to Manchester and then Sparkle and after that hopefully Pride.
Until then
Love and Light
Karen xxx
There was a dress I really wanted that I had seen while out shopping with Diana. I had seen it at a Phase 8 concession in Debanhams. Unfortunately they didn't have my size. I decided to go to their shop on King St.
I found the shop and went in for a look. They didn't have the dress in black that I had originally seen, but there were ones in purple and grey. I didn't really like the purple, but loved the grey which I thought was nicer than the black I had seen. I kept looking at the grey and then got the courage up to ask the shop assistant about the sizes and which one might fit.
She smiled at me and said, 'You really like that one, it is beautiful'.
I answered, 'Yes'.
After a bit of discussion I bought a grey one. The shop assistant was really good and gave me some advice as well.
I now had to get some shoes with a heel to go with the dress.
I went on a search and took my time trying shoes in different shops to find a pair I could actually walk in.
I have a problem with heels for a few reasons. One is my height. I found a nice pair in M&S. It had been a productive morning shopping, but I don't think my credit card was happy.
I went then to Afflecks Market so see my friend at the crystal stall now renamed Crystalhenge. It's always a pleasure to see him and have a chat. We both have different beliefs. Me, I basically follow my own Wiccan path. I respect other people's beliefs. I do love chatting to other people about theirs as I feel you can always learn something that will help on this journey. My beliefs are my own I would never push them on anyone else. People have asked me questions on them. That's ok, but somethings are private.
I went back to my hotel to try my new dress on. I didn't try it in the shop because I find it a problem, so they told me if there were any problems to bring it back.
Terrible photo of me with new dress and shoes
The dress fitted fine and I was extremely happy with it and the shoes. This was a big departure from jeans for me. It is nice to get dressed up once in a while, but perhaps this was a mistake.
That evening I was meeting up with Kate. Unfortunately Diana and Kitty couldn't make it..
Before I met up with Kate, I called in at Manchester Concord which had moved to Villagio from NYNY. Diana and myself had bumped into Karen and Mary getting everything ready on the previous Saturday.
At Concord I had a lovely chat with Leigh who was out presenting as male that night. S/he really liked my outfit and jewellery.
I was once never to bothered about jewellery, but now I love it and some pieces I own have become very special to me.
I went along to Taurus to meet Kate. It was great to see Kate again. I hadn't seen her much on this time out.
Kate in Taurus
In Taurus a gay man probably in his twenties went a bit over the top complementing me and how good I looked in my new dress. It was a bit much, but I had to smile. It is nice to get a complement on how you look, but to my way of thinking being almost invisible and not noticed is the best complement. I was getting noticed more than usual which was not good and I should have taken notice of the warning signs.
Kate and myself had a couple of drinks and then went to the Molly House. Kate did comment I looked taller and then noticed my shoes. The heels aren't high, but wearing any heel is unusual for me.
We ended up in Naps, my time out was coming to an end. A few dances and a couple of drinks, Kate then had to leave for home. It had been great seeing her and we said our farewells. I decided to stay in Naps for a bit longer which was a mistake.
I stayed to about 2am and then went to get my coat. The lady behind the bar at the cloakroom retrieved my coat and came round from behind the bar to help me on with it. Another unusual occurrence.
She smiled and bid me good night.
I walked towards Clone Zone and McTucky's fast food outlet on Sackville St. The road was busy with traffic. There were quite a few people at the fast food place. Some youths were loitering there.
At McTuckys 3 youths surrounded me. I heard a comment. 'Fucking Queer', and then laughter. The one on my right shoulder barged me. The one behind me had me worried and the one in front of me tried to block my way. I kept walking and felt another shoulder. I was bigger so he didn't impede me and I was ready. I got through and increased my pace. I got round the corner and increased my pace a bit more. I was headed towards the New Union where I was staying.
There were a couple of people walking up Canal St. I kept a fast pace about 20 to 30 yards behind me they were following. I got to GAY which was still open and I said to a female door person that I was been followed by 3 youths that had given me some hassle. I pointed to them. They had slowed and were laughing. They were still about at least 20 yards away. I then shot into the New Union and back to my room. I was quite shaken by the experience.
It was a horrible end to a wonderful time out. A couple of days later after I got home I filled out a crime report on the GIRES site.
http://www.gires.org.uk/,
I don't want to end this on a horrible note. I'd had a great time, but I did learn that drawing attention to myself with what I wear is not a good idea. The dress I bought, I don't know when and if I'll wear it again. I did find that I can move in the heels I bought, but they do increase my height which is not good.
Walking back with Kristina from the show on the Thursday and the cinema on the Tuesday with no hassle was a real confidence boost. I am not the most confident person. I know I am read when out. I look at my friends and how good they look. The way I walk and carry myself, coupled with my height gives me away everytime. Just looking at me, plenty of people have said, 'Thats a bloke'.
In the end thats ok, because I know the majority of people are busy getting on with their own lives to bother about me. All I really want is to be me and be able to go shopping, out for a drink and a meal, go to a show, visit art galleries and museums and travel to other places on the train or just use public transport without hinderance. It's all mundane and not much to ask for, but I guess some people are always going to see me as a figure to be laughed and pointed at. I can cope with that, but being so far from home, physical intimidation is a different matter. The simple fact is, if I have to defend myself, I will.
I'd learned quite a bit from the different people I spoke to, but there was one thing my friend Diana did for me that really made my trip.
Diana had made up a wonderful DVD from photos and short video clips of when herself, Kate and Kitty took me to Blackpool last year for my birthday..
When I got home I watched it and it really lifted my spirit. It's something I really treasure.
Diana if you read this. Thank You My Friend.
I've set up for my next trip to Manchester and then Sparkle and after that hopefully Pride.
Until then
Love and Light
Karen xxx
2 comments:
Karen, you write beautifully and from the heart. I always look forward to seeing things from your perspective. You must disassociate your memories of that gorgeous dress from encountering a herd of pigs on Canal Street, and the only way to do that is to wear it again, next time you are down. I insist xxx
Thanks Diana,
I am looking forward to next time out. I guess I fell of the horse last time, but I'll get back on.
I will bring the dress with me next time, but I was thinking of leaving it at home till Sparkle, but I can't do that.
Thanks again, you really are to kind.
xxx
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