Chinese New year January 2020 Saturday

Saturday

I got myself a quick breakfast at the train station and hopped on a train to Blackpool. It was straight through from Manchester which was fine.
I came in at Blackpool North station. Blackpool had changed quiet a bit since I had last been there. One of my best times out was when my friends had taken me out in Blackpool for my birthday. I rang Kate to find out where her hotel was.
After some minor problems with the phone I  found her hotel where she, Suki and another lady ,Anna who I  had met  briefly before were waiting.
After a drink the plan was to catch a tram to Fleetwood.
It was really cold and windy. On the front Anna, Kate, Suki and myself caught a tram. I
must admit the trams have had a big upgrade compared to the last time I was  in Blackpool.

After a bit of shopping in the free port area of Fleetwood, we caught a tram back to Blackpool.

I then caught a train back to Manchester. It had been a lovely afternoon with the girls.

Back in Manchester I met up with Diana and Ash. It was lovely to see them both, but I had a bit of a problem with the one venue which was packed and I felt at one point I was going to pass out. At that point I felt it would be better to call it a night.

Sunday

I woke feeling not to bad. I was disappointed with myself having to cut Saturday night short with Diana and Ash.

In the afternoon I went into Chinatown to see the Chinese New Year celebrations. It was very busy.  

 

       It's been nearly a year since I started this post and Covid 19 has swept the world. Lockdown after lockdown. People losing their lives to it. Job losses. I fear for the future. Vaccines are starting to be used to combat the virus. Personally my future has started to look more bleak with something else. I would love to get out again. When that might be I don't know. I guess this blog is it's final stages.

                                                                Love and Light

                                                                         Tawny

                                                                           xxx

January 2020 Chinese New Year Friday

Friday

I had a tiring train trip down the previous day. When I woke I felt good to be in Manchester. I thought it would be nice to take a trip to Leeds. I love shopping there. My plan was to see about getting a Pandora charm bracelet.

I got the train to Leeds which was fine although it took over an hour . There have been a lot of problems with the trains in Northern England with time tables and such. I got my bracelet and a couple of charms. I also bought a tan leather style jacket and a jumper. The sun was out but cold. I had a lovely day out.
It came time to head back to Manchester. Back at the hotel I decided to get my dinner. The café style restaurant was empty. I ordered a burger. Half way through my meal the place filled with older people attending a ceramics conference. The lady in charge spoke to me very concerned I was on my own. I had to explain that I was not part of the conference. They were all lovely and I did hear some ask 'why is that lady on her own', I didn't think it was me they were asking about. I had one more drink and then took a wander into the Village.
It was 'Manchester Minx' night,  a support group my friend Kate runs. They usually meet one Friday in the month at the On Bar, but tonight they had gone to Blackpool.
The Village was very quiet for a Friday and there weren't many in the On Bar.

I went for a couple of more drinks around The Village and then decided to call it a night.

I wore my new jacket which I was very pleased with.

In the morning I would take a trip to Blackpool to see Kate and Suki then later I would meet up with Diana and Ash.

Top of the World (Sept' Trip 2011)

Thursday

I met up with Diana and we made our way to Oxford Road train station stopping for a coffee and breakfast on the way. We were hoping to catch the same train to Blackpool as Kate and Kitty were on.
It was my birthday I for a change had been looking forward to it.
We caught the train and did see Kate and Kitty get on, but we decided to stay in our seats as the train was a bit busy.
When we got of the train in Blackpool  we went to a bar called The Flying Handbag in the gay area for a drink.
After a drink we went down to the front where Diana and myself went up the Tower. Kate and Kitty decided to go for a walk along the Prom.
Before Diana and myself went up the Tower we saw a 3D movie about it. I had never seen a 3D film before and was impressed.
We proceeded then up the Tower. I had been inside the Tower complex many times, but never been up the Tower itself. I was having a fantastic time.
Later on after we left the Tower we met up with Kate and Kitty and went on to the Central Pier for some cake and a coffee. Then it was back to the Flying Handbag for a drink and the train back to Manchester.
Diana, Kate and Kitty had given me the most memorable birthday ever. There are real high points in your life and this was one of mine. It's taken me some time to write about this trip, because I didn't think I could do it justice and it brought tears to my eyes remembering how happy I was knowing that was a day that can never be repeated. I can't thank my friends enough.
I had 3 more days left and I'll write about them soon.
Below are some pictures I will always cherish.

Up the top of the Tower.

Outside the Winter Gardens.

Diana, Kate and myself inside the Winter Gardens.

Myself and Kate

Sitting on the floor.

Diana and myself.

Me trying to stoop to make myself seem smaller.

Looking South.

On the Prom

On the Central Pier

Back in the Flying Handbag looking at some photos of a wonderful day I'll won't forget.

I still had 3 days left and I'll write about them soon.

Thank You, Diana, Kate and Kitty for the best birthday ever.

Love and Light

xxx    

 

Time Passes So Quickly

I spent a wonderful 5 days in Manchester and Blackpool virtually out full time. It's amazing how quickly the time passed. Unfortunately last time I did something similar awhile back my eye went haywire when I got home.
On the Wednesday when the train pulled into Manchester an overwhelming feeling of joy engulfed me. It felt like I was home. I get to be really me. Now Manchester wouldn't be described as beautiful city by many, but it is to me. I've heard some TG people say that staying in the Village is just swapping one closet for another,but really who cares. It's not a competition to see how far you can open the door. It's about living and enjoying life.

I got my room and then quickly went to the chemist to get some make up remover and assorted other bits and clear nail varnish. I've never worn nail varnish, but decided to give it a go. I must admit my nails do look better even with the clear.
That evening I met up with Kate and Diana, for a meal in Eden. It was great to see them both and catch up. In Naps there was a young gay lad bouncing around like a loon and was trying to look up my skirt so Diana told me when he was rolling about the dance floor. On the Friday when I went to the New Union where Diana was staying. While I was waiting for her in the bar 2 young lads who said they were free lance journalists asked me if they could interview me about the gay scene in Manchester. I told them that I am not gay, but they said they would still like my views. I've heard some lines in my time, but I said ok. They were polite and not being annoying. They did ask how I would describe my sexuality. I told them I am hetro, but haven't had sex in years and it does not bother me so I'm probably asexual. They seemed to be surprised and intrigued by this. I told them me presenting as female does not have anything to do with sex. If the right woman came along fine.but I am not looking. I'm happy with who I am and I really don't want the trauma of coming out to a partner again. Diana turned up and recognised one of them. He was the lad who was rolling about the dance floor on Wednesday. Give him his due he was embarrassed and apologised. We both were asked some more questions. I always wonder why people have to equate being TG with sexuality. For me it's about my identity and I love being out just doing normal day to day things like shopping, going for a coffee, even just going for a walk when presenting as female. It's not overwhelming where I feel the need to transition. There was a time I felt I may be on that journey and it was a hellish confusing time for me. I don't know if there is a tipping point you reach, but if there is I didn't. I really don't know what people go through to get to where they have no choice but to transition. I have the greatest respect for them, because it is a tough journey to take, probably one of the toughest to take in this life. One of these days perhaps the society we live in will one day recognise that and stop the crap.
I guess I've got a bit of track.
On Thursday I was by myself so I went into the city centre to do some shopping. I bought a few tops, cardigans and a pair of ankle boots and a couple of pieces of jewellery. I had no problems. All the shop assistants were fantastic. I was probably wandering round with a big smile on my face. If you look happy I think people respond to that. That night I went to Taurus for a meal. I must say the staff in Taurus are great. I always enjoy eating there. A couple of drinks in View and I decided to have an early night, Back in my room I checked my email and stuck a DVD on,
Tomorrow I was meeting Kate and going to the Trafford Centre. I went to bed feeling like a very happy girl. Every time I'm out I never want it to end. It's like living in a beautiful dream, I know that's the best it will be, but a least I can live that dream for a short time. In that respect I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
Friday morning I had to get the train to where I was meeting Kate. I had suggested this to save her driving into the city centre to pick me up as we were going out to the Trafford Centre. It turned out I had to change trains at Oxford Road. I could have walked to Oxford Road but couldn't remember how to get there. The first train was absolutely packed. The second was the completely the opposite. I got to where I was going and met Kate. We went to her house first for a coffee and to see Mrs Kate who was feeling under a bit under the weather. It was good to see Mrs Kate wasn't to bad she said she would be out with Kate on Saturday. The 2 Kates are a lovely couple and it was an honour to see their beautiful home.
We went off to the Trafford Centre for a great afternoon shopping and lunch. It was great being able to have a chat with Kate without the loud music you get in the bars at night in the Village. I love getting out with my friends during the day and just doing everyday stuff. Afterwards Kate ran me back to the Village.
That night I met up with Diana during the infamous interview. We went for a meal in Taurus and Kate turned up as we finished. Unfortunately there was a bit of a mix up, but Kate got something to eat and then we went to the New Union to find Emma and Mrs Emma. We didn't find them, but after a couple of texts we went over to Eden to see them. It was great to see them both and after a couple of drinks we all decided to go over to Manto a bar we had never been it before. Now leaving Eden I had a quite unsavory moment. I was last out and it was quite busy and we had to pass this bloke who was very drunk. 2 women were telling him to let us pass. As I was passing he grabbed me and put his arm round my shoulders. I told him to get of me and he just squeezed tighter. The 2 women told him to let me be. He thought this was funny.
I am not violent, but I told him in no uncertain terms that if he did not get his hands of me I would flatten him. He released me and gave me the stare, but thought better of doing anything as others were watching him now. There are lots of blokes about in this country who have to act like complete idiots and try to make other peoples lives a misery for their own amusement. To me the drunken antics of some people up and down the UK is a sad reflection of this country. I have no problem with people drinking, just the moronic behavior.
The next night, Saturday, we all met up in Velvet joined by Mrs Kate, Mandy and Tina. It was great to see them again. Before that Diana and myself did some more shopping in the afternoon we had to get back early as we were all meeting up about 6pm for a meal and then try a few places the others hadn't been in the Village. There was 8 of us in Velvet and we had a good meal, chat and a few laughs. We ended up going to few places later on, Churchhills, Spirit, New York New York and finally Naps New York New York was boiling. The heat got to be to much. I remember Mandy was suffering and I ended outside with her. I think I called it a night at about 3am. Later that morning Di and myself would take a trip up to Blackpool.

Di and myself got the train a Piccadilly. It took just over an hour to Blackpool it was a beautiful day actually very warm. We walked all the way to the South Pier and back again from the North Pier so we probably did a few miles. In a cafe Di left her jacket and I forgot to pay. The assistant came out after us and I was mortified. She was fine, but I felt really bad. We had a wander on to the South Pier but didn't stay long as it was really busy. We went to the Flying Handbag a T friendly bar and then a nearby Indian Restaurant. After the meal we went back to the Flying Handbag for a couple more drinks and met Karen another tgirl up from North Wales I think.
It came time for us to get the train back to Manchester. We got back about 10pm. We went for a couple of drinks in Taurus and then all to soon we parted company. My time out as Karen was effectively over.
I know a lot of what I have written is probably very boring, but for me being able to present as female makes me feel so alive. I can leave my male side behind for awhile. I am always very sad when my times out end and I know I will get down , but there is always next time.
To my friends, Kate, Mrs Kate, Diana, Emma. Mrs Emma, Mandy and Tina, if you read this and get this far, thank you for a fantastic 5 days.
Love
Karen xxx

My World.- Past, Present, Future? (or me rambling on again)

When I decided to start this blog, I had never really done anything like this before.
The first post was about Mars. I was unsure what to write if not a little nervous.
I remember I had put a post up about my first time out in 20 years as Karen, on the Angels Forum. Next week it'll be a year since I started this blog. I've recorded what were for me some wonderful times. At this point in time I feel I've been given one massive kick up the backside.
I guess I wasn't very imaginative when I called it My World. I did once like playing computer games where I could take over the world or even the universe.
It's been a pretty intense 12 months, and this blog only has some of what I've been doing. I think I've managed to come out of my shell quite a bit, and I know I'm more confident. I've actually really enjoyed life in the last year. I managed to come out of what were some tough times for me. I've met some wonderful people some of who read my ramblings and they have become really good friends.
Everything was going great, at times better than I could ever of dreamed. Then as you may have seen a few posts earlier it was like a bomb got dropped into My World. I really didn't see that one coming.
Being told I have MS was a shock to say the least. I knew a small bit about it which turned out to be not very much at all. Actually nobody knows what causes it. Got a new word burned into brain. Myelin. Seems my immune system likes to attack it occasionally.
One thing I noticed reading about it on the net was that it seems twice as many women have MS as men. Time for a really mad thought.Did being TG increase my chances, make me more susceptible. Crazy how you can try and connect things.
I recently left a comment on another girls' blog, "You can't win every battle, but that does not mean you've lost either." That just popped into my head as I was reading her post and I thought that applies to me.
I also saw a programme about the New Zealand SAS and the 9 month training cycle they go through to be selected. They talked a lot about developing the right mental attitude, for me thats something I've got to do.
I've always tried to look for the positives in anything. This may be a difficult one,but I'll give it my best shot.

I've never really posted anything much about the last time I was out,except about the mishap in a certain store in Liverpool 1.
I spent 5 days out the longest I've left my male aspect well and truly in the background. It was an amazing experience and to be honest it felt to short.
On a side note I would love to rent one of those apartments, that I have stayed in, for a week. Something I will have to do first is permanently remove my facial hair.
I am debating whether to do it. Now things have become more urgent, the decision will be made soon. It would be so much easier not to continually be shaving and hopefully I wouldn't have to plaster the make up on.

I went through to Blackpool on the train. It was great to see the old place again, but I must say it was looking a bit worse for wear. I only stayed for a couple of hours wandering round the town centre. I did a bit of shopping and then it was time to head back. The train journey back was probably the most enjoyable train journey I've ever been on. The train was packed with students returning home from their union conference. I must admit I felt very nervous plus I thought my make up might be melting with the heat. I needn't have worried I ended up chatting to some of them. Mainly talking politics, they didn't bat an eyelid when speaking to me. Just treated me as another woman they had met on the train. I must admit it was a fantastic feeling. Unfortunately they all got off at Preston.
Back in Manchester I stopped to talk to a lass handing out anti BNP leaflets. The way things have been going in this country and with the MP's expenses scandals, their is a chance one of those morons could get elected in the up coming Euro elections.I've added a link below to the site of anti fascist magazine Searchlight. We wished each other well and I headed back to the Village.


Searchlight

The next day with Diana and the two Kates we went through to Liverpool on the train.
Unfortunately as recorded in a previous post the day fell flat.

The next day Diana and myself went shopping in Manchester where our faith was restored and we couldn't have been treated better. Diana bought a beautiful dress for the ballroom dancing that night.
It was a really fun evening with June Collins from Ireland giving us lessons. One thing I was thankful for was not falling over, but I really do have 2 left feet.
The next day Sunday we spent the afternoon at Trans-Fixed where June was having a make over and photo shoot. We also met up with Jane a really nice lass who I had met a couple of times before.
Diana had to head of home and I met up with June later on for a few drinks.
When the evening came to an end, June and myself parted company. I got talking to a woman outside the Annexe where I was staying. She seemed to have had a bit to much to drink and started coming on to me. I really was tempted. It has been a long time, but I thought no. If she had been a bit more sober I think I would have. She wasn't blazing, but enough to feel like it would be taking advantage.
5 wonderful days came to an end. I guess this account is a bit subdued. It did get overshadowed by the Transphobic incident in Liverpool and later on when the crap hit the fan for me.
Which ever way I look at it life has changed for me. I don't know if it was a good idea coming out about the MS on here. I was feeling very low. It has given me a new perspective on a few things. I've thought about what will happen if the worst happens, but then again what is the worst. I hope I never find out. It's not death I fear but extreme pain. From what I understand it does not kill many people. It's horrible thing when your own body turns against you. Ok this can't be cured, but what must be torture is when something can be treated or corrected and isn't due to the cost.
To me watching the carry on with these MP's lately and the billions the government wants to spend on Trident is just sick.
To end I'm really looking forward to the couple of days out in Manchester next week.
In a way it feels a bit like a new start, but it isn't really, only that I know myself better in a lot of ways, and some things are much clearer.
Life is for Living

Karen xxx