Full Circle

Saturday
Diana couldn't get her hotel room for the Saturday night so she had to vacate her room. I had said to her to leave her case in my apartment. Kate and Kitty had invited us to their home for a meal that evening.
Diana came over and after a coffee we went to the Olive Deli by Sackville Gardens for a bite to eat.
We spent the afternoon shopping. Diana bought herself a nice pair of boots and I bought a battery operated cat that rolled round with a loud laugh when switched on which was for Kate and Kitty.
We had been invited out to Kate and Kitty's  home for a meal that evening. We did take a couple of wrong turns finding their house, but eventually found it.
We had a lovely meal and a wonderful girls night in. Diana showed us a DVD she had made of her trip to Fantasia Fair in the States. It came across as what must have been an amazing experience. I could see the emotions playing across Diana's face. I could only imagine the beautiful memories she must have and the sadness that it was now in the past. I think that events like these change you and add an intangible positive element  that stays for life.
I hope if she reads this she does not mind my thoughts in the last paragraph.
The evening came to an end. Diana took me back to The Village.
I had one more day in Manchester.

Sunday
The first four days had been a wonderful time and the best part had been seeing my friends. One day left I would spend by myself. None of my friends live in Manchester, but they go out of their way to make my times out very special and for that I cannot thank then enough. I really am so lucky.
Sunday morning I decided to start packing after I got ready to go out. There was no hurry to go anywhere. I had been toying with the idea of going on the train somewhere for a day out. It was very cold and the weather was turning nasty so I decided against it. Instead I decided to go to the cinema. I went to the Printworks Cinema to see what films were on. I decided on a sci fi film Skyline. The film about an alien invasion was ok if not horrible. The effects were good and sort of overtook the storyline.
After the film I headed back to The Village. Later that evening I headed out again to Paddy's Goose a traditional pub in The Village. It wasn't to busy so I found a table to sit at. A couple of gay guys asked if they could sit at the table. We got talking. They asked about my sexuality, was I going to transition etc. They said it was a shame I was straight, but good I wasn't going to get it chopped off as they put it. I had to smile as I hadn't had sex for years, so it wasn't much use any way. I think they got a bit confused during the conversation, so they asked, do you really want to be a woman? My answer was yes, but when it comes down to it I have an overwhelming fear that the transition process would destroy me, so I do what I do.
The next question was whether I saw myself as a transexual or transvestite? I replied that I am just what you see whatever that is. Eventually the conversation came to an end, they both shook my hand and wished me all the best for the future.
My night came to an end about half an hour later when 2 drunk trannies managed to soak one leg of my jeans by knocking over a drink mucking around and making a general nuisance of themselves. I must admit I left in disgust those 2 really were acting like a couple of drunk blokes in women's clothing. I must admit that behavior is something I hate to see.
The 5 days had come to end. It had been another special time for me. In a way I had come full circle staying in the place I had stayed in when I first came to The Village  I don't know but have a feeling a cycle has ended and a new one is beginning. I know there could be some tough times on the horizon. I have written this and the last 2 posts with a bad dose of the flu which I am now getting over.
One thing I did take part in while in The Village was Kissing Without Prejudice, below is a link and if you do look at it you get a good view of the back of my head. It is well worth a look:-
Kissing Without Prejudice Photography Project

I'll leave with a picture that Diana took where I was staying that is similar to the first taken when I was in The Village.

                                                                     Full Circle

Take care and look after each other.
Karen xxx                                            

Near Perfect Day

Friday
The first 2 days just seemed to disappear (see last post).

The plan for the day was Diana and myself would meet up with Kate and Kitty at the Christmas market near the town hall. We decided to go into the Arndale first where Diana got a picture of me with a giant Freddie Mercury advertising the stage show 'We Will Rock You'.

Diana managed to get herself a really nice pair of boots while we were in The Arndale. I also got my nails done again.

It came to time that we made our way to the Christmas Market to meet Kate and Kitty.Kate had given us a cryptic clue that they would be near the singing moose.

We made our way to the market. At a crossing we saw Kate waiting to cross on the other side. The funny thing was when it came to cross Kate passed right by us and never noticed. We  had to stop her. She was going to an ATM, so we continued on looking for Kitty and the singing moose. We eventually found her and had a cup of gluhwein and then another one when Kate arrived. A cold November day, but for me standing in the Christmas Market with my friends sipping ghulwein and a singing moose head it really did feel like Christmas.

We decided to go into the city hall to escape the cold where there was a jewellery exhibition mainly works by local artists. There were some nice pieces and some unusual ones. I also noticed a plaque dedicated to those volunteers who joined The International Brigades and fought against fascism during The Spanish Civil War. In my time I have met a couple of veterans of that conflict who have long since passed on. I always think of it as a forgotten conflict which was a prelude to the world wide fight for freedom, World War Two.

Below is a link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Brigades

Diana and myself had to get back to the Village to get changed and go for something to eat as we were going to see The Nutcracker ballet at The Palace Theater.

When Diana suggested going I was very keen. I had never been to see a ballet before. I remember as a kid my sister loved her dance classes which ballet was a big part off. I wasn't jealous of her, I just wished I could at the time do what she did. That wasn't to be I had to do boy things. I wasn't that good at most sports except I seemed  better at basketball and tennis than my class mates. That didn't help much as football or rugby were what counted.
We got to the Palace Theater and it looked like there would be a full house. I must admit to feeling excited. It was nice to be able to sit and have a drink before the start. It came time to take our seats. The whole performance was spellbinding and absolutely beautiful. It felt even more like Christmas watching the story unfold in music, movement and dance.
Below is a link to an overview of the Nutcracker.
   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nutcracker
All to soon it was over. I think Diana enjoyed it as much as I did. The work that must go into a production I cam only guess at. A beautiful Christmas story that transports you to a place with no computers, hi tech special effects etc. Instead the imagination is stimulated and you see and feel the beauty of life in one of its highest forms.
Diana suggested once we left the theater getting a picture of me outside the theater. She understands how important memories of my times out and anything that helps with those are to me.

We finished of the evening by going to Naps where we got talking to a woman who was out with her friends for what sounded like a birthday pub crawl. We got the usual questions. Why? Are you gay? Have you or are you going to change sex? Then, are you married? I don't mind answering questions as long as people are not nasty or rude. We finished of the night with a bit of dancing.

Nothing can ever be perfect, but I'd had a near perfect day with 3 of my best friends.

If you read this. Thank you Diana, Kate and Kitty.

Christmas came early. 

   

Tangling With The Alien

Possibly my last outing this year. 5 nights in Manchester, I decided to get an apartment at the Atrium. The Atrium was the first place I stayed when I managed to get the courage to go to Manchester and then venture out into the Village. That was about 2 and half years ago. A lot of water has passed down the canal so to speak since then.
When I got into Manchester I had to wait a couple of hours before I could get my room, but Emma who was staying at the New Union kindly let me use her room to get changed.
After I got changed and then got my apartment I went into the Arndale shopping centre and met up with Emma. She was buying some jewellery and then she decided to get a make over at MAC. I must admit I think she is very brave to get her make up done in such a public place. They always do a wonderful job.
Kate and Mrs Kitty would soon be arriving so I left Emma to meet them in the Village one thing I did do was get my nails done before I met Emma. Unfortunately they only lasted a day so I would have to pay another visit to the nail bar.
I met up with Kate and Mrs Kitty and also Diana and a few other girls. We saw Marianne singing at the Concorde meeting.. Some dancing in Naps it felt like I was back home.

Thursday: Birmingham
I had arranged to go to Birmingham with Kate. The beauty of having the apartment was that my friends were able to come round and have a coffee in more pleasant surroundings than a hotel room. I had got a good deal booking well ahead. The night before Kate and Mrs Kitty had given me a lovely green purse as an early Christmas present. When it comes to buying wallets or purses, I seem to have bad luck if I buy my own, so I don't. The last wallet I bought not long after I nearly lost my life.

We set off and got the train to Birmingham. The journey was uneventful apart from when I went to the toilet on the train. I thought I was trapped when the door wouldn't open, but fortunately  eventually it did.
Birmingham's Christmas market was on. We went for some bangers and mash after a wander round the markets.We also had a look at Hurst Street home of Outskirts, Birminghams Transgender Group.

Me on Hurst Street

I do wonder what Birmingham would be like for a night out. Then again it all comes down to cost I would also like to get out in London.

Later I managed to buy a nice warm coat. It was really cold.

We did come across two really good metal sculptures of an alien and a predator. I managed to get tangled with the alien while Kate was taking a photo.

It came time for us to get back to Manchester. On the train we had to listen to a woman taking apart her daughter's life very loudly. Her daughter was I would say was in her late 30's. By the time we got to Manchester I felt really sorry for her.

Back in Manchester we met up with Diana and Mrs Kitty in Taurus for a meal. Diana had what sounded like torture with her latest laser session. She had also arranged to stay in the Village a couple of nights. As usual time seemed to go so quickly, but I still had 3 nights left.

A Wonderful Time

The last night of a wonderful time. Tomorrow I go home into what looks like an icy waste.
This is just a short post a fuller one will follow later. At the moment I am sitting in the apartment I've had for the last 4 nights this is the fifth. My friends Diana, Kate and Mrs Kate (Kitty) and not forgetting Emma have been a joy to see again. Been out to Birmingham for the Christmas Market and also when to the one in Manchester. Went to see a ballet, which was absolutely beautiful, more about that later. Time to start packing.

Highs and Lows

I've been out again as anyone who has read the last 3 posts will know. Back home now and will probably hit a horrible low after spending another 8 days out. I had a wonderful time out tempered with a transphobic incident and a not very good visit to another city that left me feeling very disappointed.
Manchester is like a kind of second home to me. In my opinion a city that is the best. It's not perfect, but I love the place.
I managed to go a bit crazy with my credit card. I think my luggage weighed twice what it was when I left home. Round Manchester it was really nice how quite a few people in different shops remembered me and seemed really pleased to see me back again and it wasn't that I really spend a lot in those particular places.
I did go to a nail bar and got my nails done which was a first and a nice experience.
The Manchester Concord support group has moved. I was glad to see that it hasn't moved out of The Village. The new place, upstairs in New York NewYork isn't as good as the Rem.
I met Kate and Mrs K in Velvet along with KD and her sister. Diana turned up a bit later. I was just so happy to be back and out with my friends.                                                                     
On Friday I went for a Chinese meal with Diana and Kate in Chinatown which was lovely..
On Saturday we went for a meal at Villagios to celebrate Bev's birthday. I had met Bev last year at the Angels Christmas meal. A really nice person who it was lovely to meet again. It was great to see , Mandy and Tina again who I hadn't seen in a long time. I also met Tanya and Sophie. There was some concern when Tanya choked on a piece of meat, but she was ok.
Sunday was Doggy Pride in Sackville Gardens or something like that. Diana and myself after some shopping met up with Kate and Kitty or Mrs K. I think Kitty sounds better than Mrs Kate. The name change came about after some discussion which included the tarot cards. I guess some people will think I am probably a bit silly. There was a suggestion I have a stall at the next Sparkle which I thought was funny. Instead of Mystic Meg, I could be Septic Peg.
On Monday I went to the cinema to see Inception which I enjoyed. On the way back I took a wrong turning and ended up confronted with 2 young blokes and what I presumed were their girlfriends. One bloke as I got nearer had a real twisted look on his face.
" You are F#@KING UGLY", he spat out. " Look at you f#@king poof" ,
As I passed his girlfriend tried to kick me. I dodged that and the insults continued. They went their way and I continued on to The Village.
I wonder about people like that. Why so much rage? What is it about themselves they can't deal with. Maybe I am ugly but does it warrant such a reaction and to call me a poof well I am comfortable with my sexuality. My sexuality I think only comes into play when I am attracted to a woman and that's me. Calling me gay is not an insult just a mistake. These days sex is a distant memory for me. Transphobia, homophobia what is it that causes people to react in such a way.
Tuesday I went off to Nottingham and to be honest I wasn't very impressed with the place. There is not  much point in saying any more as it would be unfair to judge a place on one visit.

Liverpool
On Wednesday I went back to Liverpool where I'd had a horrible experience last year.The link below explains what happened.
http://karenmyworld.blogspot.com/2009_04_08_archive.html#5702869184228955402

I was pleasantly surprised and had a good day out. I didn't do much shopping, but did buy a nice skirt in the store where I had a problem before. I texted Diana who had been with me that day last year. She was really happy for me and replied perhaps we had made a difference when we lodged complaints. It would be nice to think so.
I managed to get a picture with the self timer below

It's a nice feeling to be able to put up a picture of me out in a city I have always liked and what happened last year was a sad event I hope is never repeated. I had a really nice day and after Nottingham it gave my confidence a much needed boost.

It came time for me to get back to Manchester. I met up with Kate and after a meal and a chat about what I  had been out to since Sunday. We went for some dancing in Naps. My time out was coming to an end.

Some  real highs and a couple of horrible lows. Leaving is always difficult and I was so glad Kate could make it out. It was wonderful  seeing everyone and I can't thank them enough.

As for the idiots that I came across well I feel sad for them. When you have your health I think you should live to the best of your ability. Things can go wrong very quickly. It's not difficult to try to be a decent person.

I have my problems, but I try and won't stop while I still can.

Look after each other

Karen xxx 

I nearly forgot.

The advert below , I saw in Manchester Piccadilly Station

Far better than those moronic Little Britain adverts by a well known building society.

Thank You

I just wanted to say a very quick thank you to everyone who left comments on the last 3 posts. I will reply to them, but at the moment I am still out and having a wonderful time despite the rain. Also to my friends who have made my stay absolutely wonderful. If any of you read this,thank you.
I didn't let that silly person ruin was is a fantastic time for me. One thing I absolutely hate is anyone being horrible about my friends. I would not have got through a lot of things that have affected me without your support.
A Big Hug to you all.
Karen xxx

Very Annoying

Just had a great night out with my friends Kate and Diana.
One thing that really annoyed me was the way another Tgirl decided to sum me up because she hadn't seen me before and didn't know me. Basically she reckoned I have no friends or confidence to really get outside and live 24/7 when I am out and she would help me. Talk about bossy and treating me like an idiot, I didn't bother arguing just said what I do. I do what I do because I love living and have some wonderful friends and this blog I hope reflects that. I really don't have much time for people on power trips and it really is sad when that person is trans.
Better get some sleep busy day ahead

Following on, I had a real good day. First off I forgot my boobs. Put my bra on this morning and forgot to fill it so to speak. Managed to get my nails done in a nail bar which was a really nice relaxing exprience. A  first for me.Did a bit of shopping and bought a couple of nice tops and a pair of boots. I think I might finally have the solution to my oily skin which plays havoc with my make up. The make up artist at MAC was really helpful and it seems to working. All together a lovely day despite the weather.
It was fantastic seeing my friends last night. Tomorrow and Saturday should be wonderful. I'll leave with a picture of me in the rain.

Have fun and look after each other

Karen xxx

Special Day

I don't usually post on this when I am out so this one is actually from Karen, 100%.
Today is a special day that has brought back some memories. I won't go into details and the following is just personal, but I feel I have to say this.
' I remembered my love. I wish you could have been here, but hopefully you saw from wherever you are. I think you would have enjoyed today. You were never and never are far from my thoughts. I miss and love you more than words can say.
Karen
xxx'

8 Days Pt2 (Cartoon Characters, Steel Balls, Big Wheel and more Bangers & Mash

Sunday.

I had a longer lie in, getting up just after 9am. I took my time getting ready. Once I was ready I went for something to eat at a patisserie on Sackville Street. It was a beautiful day. My friend Diana would be arriving and staying till Tuesday evening. This was my 5th day and usually I would be thinking about going home the next day, I guess this is all boring stuff, but for me this is the nearest I get to a dream of being female. Perhaps some view that as strange or worse. Why I feel this overwhelming need to be the opposite gender I don't know. It's not sexual I haven't bothered for over 6 years and don't think about it much. I love shopping, don't look forward to the credit card bill. I love dancing when I get the chance and seeing new places. Simple pleasures that harm no one and yet why is it so difficult to want to be and present as female.Perhaps it is just myself that is stopping me.

I met up with Diana and we had a nice day shopping rounded off with a meal in the evening at Eden. She was staying at the New Union where I would be moving to on Monday.

Monday - Bangers and mash then Sex in the City the sequel.

I moved hotel to the New Union. I checked out about 11am and when I got to the Union. I met with Diana and it turned out  I could get my room straight away so I didn't have to leave my luggage in Diana's room.
We had a day shopping and also decided to go to the cinema that night.
Sex in the City 2 was on at the Printworks Odeon. We decided on the 9pm showing. We went for a meal in Taurus. Diana looked very glamorous. Me I looked like her dowdy friend. We decided to have a cocktail before the meal. I decided on a strawberry daiquiri not  something I've ever had before.

I really enjoyed it, but then I had bangers and mash again, a medley of different sausages. The venison sausage was wonderful as were the others.

After the meal we went for a taxi. I flagged one at the end of Canal Street. 

At the Printworks which has a collection of bars and is a popular place in Manchester we found the cinema.
In the cinema  Diana took some pictures of me with some displays for forthcoming films. I've started a page with some photos that are a bit different, just a bit of fun. It's on the right hand side of this blog..
Sex in the City 2 has been given bad reviews in the press, but I must say I really enjoyed it.
After the film we went back to Naps and discovered from a text we had not long missed Kate which was a real shame.
In Naps Diana and myself started discussing a few things. To my shame I got a bit bent out of shape and made a fool of myself. I ended up walking out leaving Diana in Naps.Back in my room I nearly burst into tears. The way I had spoke to my friend and walked out was totally wrong. I sent a text not expecting a reply. I felt I'd lost a good friend. She sent a text bad saying sorry she could be a bit insensitive at times. To be honest I was the one being insensitive not her, I was so relieved we were still friends
.We would have breakfast the next morning in the Rem.

                                                           

Me with Marmaduke in the Printworks

Tuesday

We went to the Rem where I got Diana breakfast. It was the least I could do. Diana would put her luggage in my room as she would be going home in the evening. It was a beautiful day. Diana took me to Aflecks Market where she had to buy a couple of things. I wondered if I would be able to pick up some Tarot cards. We had talked about my dabbling in palm reading and such things.  I didn't find any Tarot cards but did get a lovely necklace.
That evening we had a meal in Queer a bar on Canal St which we hadn't been in before. It was fine but the spare ribs were a challenge.
It came time that Diana had to go home. I helped her with her luggage to her car. We hugged and parted company. I was so relieved we were still friends I really thought I had screwed up. We have shared a few firsts and she has helped me more than she could know.

Wednesday - Sheffield ,Steel Balls, Fountains and a Big Wheel, Back to Manchester

                                                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                                      

I think this building is part of the University in Sheffield. I hope you are able to read the writing down the side.

When you come out of Sheffield train station you see the first of many fountains. It's all very well laid out. The next thing that struck me was how clean the city centre is. Probably the cleanest I've seen in the UK.

Outside the train station

Steel Wall Of Water Outside Station

.

I walked up into the city crntre not the biggest I've seen but I guess you have Meadowhall nearby.

It was turning into a scorcher of a day. The fountains looked very cool and inviting. I came across some unusual ones pictured below.

Steel Ball Fountains

I then saw the Big Wheel. I would have to go up on that after a look round the shops. I needed a new handbag as mine was starting to come apart. I got a nice one in TK Max which I think was a real bargain.

A student raising monry for something or other stopped me for a chat. Maybe I am daft but I put a couple of quid in  his tin. We chatted for a bit about Sheffield and where I was from, It was nice to be treated as just another person with no hint at anything unusual about me even though I couldn't pass in a million years even my voice didn't reveal a hint of surprise as it normally does , if not worse. I do try with my voice by trying to speak a bit softer, but my hearing is not the greatest and I know when I speak to people it does get louder especially if the person I am talking to speaks very softly. The worst reactions I tend to get are from other transgender people. I am very wary of initiating a conversation with another trans person I don't know. Like I've said before I love talking to and meeting people but because I don't pass I have to be careful. I've not explained this very well. I am not talking about verbal abuse which I've had from non trans people acting like idiots , but more subtle reactions.

I try as best I can when I am out and try not to embarrass anyone I am with whether I know them or not.

The Big Wheel was not busy so I decided to get a better look at Sheffield from height. I had been on the one in Manchester which I really enjoyed. Pictures are far better that anything I could write,

  

I got a great  view of Sheffield and really enjoyed the ride. Afterwards I went to Millennium Square for a coffee and a look round a couple of galleries. It was like a mini botanic garden under cover. A really nice place to take the weight of your feet.

Having a coffee in the jungle

It came time where I had to get back to Manchester if I wanted to miss the rush hour. That didn't work out as the trains were busy with people going to Manchester Airport. I had to stand, but it was only 50 minutes. 

Back in Manchester I went back to the hotel to drop of my cardigan and do a quick repair job on my make up. It had turned into a hot day. 

I realised I needed some more invisible bra straps I had already broke one from a previous set. It was my own fault and nothing to do with the quality of the set I had bought.

In the Arndale I couldn't find the shop I wanted but did find a great shoe shop 'Deichmann's' where I bought some nice white strappy sandals that fit perfectly. I could have spent a lot of money there and I will be back for another look. Afterwards I did get the straps and went for something to eat.

That evening Professor Stephen Whittle was due to give a talk at the Manchester Concord meeting but unfortunately he didn't make it. It was quite busy but as soon it was announced he wasn't coming most people left.

I did get talking to one girl who did not give me her name. Mary one of the organisers took my photo which is below. It turned out I didn't need the straps. 

After Concord I went to Naps where a lovely girl Lisa came over and spoke to me. We got a seat and had a nice chat. A bloke she was supposed to be meeting had stood her up. We got speaking about various thing T related including sex. She seemed surprised that I hadn't been with anyone for 6 years. To be honest I am not interested and don't care about people's sexuality. My biggest thrill these days is getting out shopping. She told me about a boyfriend who dumped her because her voice wasn't femme enough. She sounded fine to me.

I went upstairs for a dance, Lisa didn't fancy it so I was on my own. About 2am I decided to call it a night.  I did bump into Lisa before I left and we said our goodbyes. It would be nice to stay in touch. She did send a nice message when I got home.

An amazing 8 days was over. I had felt a range of emotions and  made a complete fool of myself. It was wonderful seeing my friends Kate, Mrs Kate who looked after me. Emma and Mrs Emma who I enjoyed seeing again if  not for to long and last but not least Diana, thank you for being so understanding. All of you made my time out a fantastic exprience.

8 days were over. I would swap watches the final reminder of what I was going back to.

This will probably be the last monster blog post I  think I will keep them shorter after when I hopefully get out again.

Thanks for readimg if you managed to without falling asleep.

For now I'll leave with a picture in The Manchester Peace Garden which sums up how I want to be, happy and at peace with myself.

Look after yourselves and each other.

Karen xxx  

8 Days Pt 1 (A Genius, Anti - Cult Activists plus Bangers and Mash)

If you read the last post you know I've been on my travels again, This time I was out for 8 days in Manchester the longest so far. It's over now and I can feel the black clouds gathering. There are somethings that hit very hard, but enough of that, writing it down helps to ease the pain so to speak, of being back as bob.

Wednesday

I got into Manchester with a couple of hours to spare before I could check into the hotel. I went to Taurus in The Village a bar and restaurant which has changing facilities. The lounge where  you can change was busy with a theatre group rehearsing. The barman asked if it would be ok if I changed behind the curtain where the mirror is. That was no problem. While I was doing  my make  up I could  hear the rehearsals. The was a comedy and I was trying not to laugh. Once I was ready it was getting near time for me to check in. I felt really happy and trundled off to the hotel and checked in. I had saved a couple of hours which allowed me to go into the city centre straight away to get some essentials.

That evening I met up with my friends Diana, Kate and Mrs Kate. I looked a bit different with the wig I wore and was in a skirt and blouse which makes a change for me. A visit to Manchester Concord and some dancing in Naps, then we parted company.


Thursday- Birmingham (Bangers and Mash and New Hair)

Kate had booked 3 train tickets for Mrs Kate, herself and me for a day out in Birmingham. I had been once before with Kate. I really like Birmingham it was a joy shopping there the first time and this was even better. We went for a wander after we got of the train and ended up at a sausage mash restaurant, well it was sort of upmarket sausage and mash. I enjoyed mine as I think the 2 Kates did as well. While we were eating Kate spotted 2 tgirls outside at the ATM  I never seem to spot other tgirls when I am out. Anyway the sausage and mash was great something I hadn't had for years. I would have some more before the week was out.

Fed and watered it was time to go shopping. I wanted to go to Selfridges as I knew there was a  Hot Hair wig concession who sell Natural Image wigs. I knew which style I wanted, it was the colours I needed to see. Unfortunately they did not have the style I wanted, but offered to ring House of Fraser to check if they did. I thanked them for their help, but said I would take a walk up there anyway. Meanwhile Mrs Kate was getting into the spirit of things and bought a half wig that goes with  her own hair, but changes the style dramatically. 

In House of Fraser the assistants could not have been better. They had the wig I wanted and and let me see every colour. I said I didn't need to try any on. They seemed surprised, but I really did not want to take my own off as I had it just right. I saw the colour I wanted and along with a bottle of hairspray and a better brush and lots of advice on its care we left to continue on.shopping. I did get some Bobby Brown eyeliner which is excellent.
When wr got back to the Village we went for a meal in Taurus and then called it a night.

Friday - World Cup Fever

I love the morning its my favourite part of the day and when its sunny I couldn't ask for more. I went for breakfast at The Rembrandt. I had a full fry up which I really enjoyed. The 2 Kates were going to pick me up later  for a trip out to The Trafford Centre. I decided to take a walk to see a bit more of Manchester. Down by St Peters I cane across the statue pictured below.

I particularly like the words on the plaque.( Click on photo for larger image).
I then had a walk through the Peace Gardens and  headed back to meet up with the 2 Kates.

They picked me up by my hotel. On the way out to the Trafford Centre some idiots in a car next to us at the traffic lights started shouting abuse and decided to pace us so they could shout more. Always makes me wonder what morons like that get out of abusing people they don't know and have done nothing to them.
We did have a good day shopping and a really nice Chinese meal. Afterwards they took me back to their home for a coffee,
The World Cup had just started and England were playing USA the next day. Kate asked me what I thought the score would be. I thought the best result would be a draw. My reasoning was if England win some use it as an excuse to act as idiots. If England lose some use that as an excuse to act as violent idiots. A draw and they are not sure what to do. Well done USA for the draw.
I'd had another wonderful day and it was a real honour to be invited back to their home. Kate ran me back to the Village which was very busy. I said I would book a table for a meal on Saturday evening, Emma and Mrs Emma would be joining us. It was getting late and most of the restaurants were shut. I decided to call it a night and went back to the hotel.

Saturday - A Genius and The Activists

After another breakfast in the Rembrandt I decided to go to the Science Museum. They had an exhibition on about Leonardo Da Vinci. There were no original works, but there were working models of some machines made from his plans. Most of his writings and plans have been lost from what I understand.
The Last Supper apparently was painted on an experimental medium wet plaster seal with resin. Unfortunately the experiment failed and the painting deteriorated.. We see a reconstruction of what it must  have looked like.
Da Vinci believed  we should observe and investigate. There is so much in this world or even better universe to learn, but we seem to tend towards our base instincts. I wonder what he would have come up with if he was alive today. An amazing man. The exhibition has been extended so if you are in Manchester its well worth a visit .Da Vinci's 8 mirrored cubicle was one fun thing you could interact with. You can see yourself from every angle to infinity when you stand in it.

The mural outside the museum

Me at the railway yard outside the museum.

Walking up the road from the museum I heard and then saw a group of people protesting about something. They were anti cult activists. It seems a well known rock star's  daughter has joined a cult that has attracted some Hollywood stars. As I passed they said not to join them. I replied that I didn't think they would have me.

'If you have money they will', one assured me.

I stopped for a chat took a leaflet and continued on. I like talking to people and have met some interesting people.Most people seem to get past  that I am TG very quickly. There is a certain look in their eyes that does disappear. That's the only way I put it. I guess most people don't talk to many people like me and I think it is a slight shock, but saying that most people are really good.
Back in the Village I booked a table  in Villagios for 8pm. Along with the 2 Kates Emma and Mts Emma would bs joining us. I  also decided I would stay an extra 3 nights so I booked into the New Union from the Monday.
With time to spare I went of for another wander round the shops before going back to get changed for the evening. I did buy a lottery ticket and won £10 that evening.  I also got some nail varnish and painted my nails for the first time.
The football was on so Villagios wasn't to busy. It was nice to see the 2 Emmas again. Later we went to Spirit and then ended up in Naps for some dancing.
The  night came to an end I said goodbye to everyone as they wouldn't be out again while I was down.
Special thanks to Kate and Mrs Kate for looking after me.
I was having a wonderful time and it wasn't over, but I would nearly blow it, but thats for the next part I'll leave for now with a picture. It's times like those I feel true happiness.

Wonderland

Spent another wonderful 4 days out. It could have been a bit of a frightening experience at times,but I think I've become a bit more streetwise in the last couple of years.
I got into Manchester just after midday, Thursday and met Diana who had been in the Village from the night before.I couldn't get my room until 2pm so we had a coffee at Taurus. It was strange sitting with Diana, me in male mode so to speak.  Diana looked really good there seemed to be a glow about her. We have both had our challenges. Very different ones but we are both moving forward. The same could be said about Kate and Mrs Kate who we would see the next day. They also  seemed to be glowing and bursting with energy. Another friend Emma would also be joining us and it's great to see what could have been a horrible situation for her has come right.

Diana came with me to the hotel when it came time to check in. After a misunderstanding about the room and being told I had to move after the first night. Thankfully it was sorted out the next morning and  I didn't have to move. Diana came up with me to the room where she fell asleep while I got ready.
Once I was ready we went of into the Arndale for some shopping.
In Debanhams I saw a dress that just said buy me. The thing is it's red which stands out a bit and to be honest I kind of avoid clothes like that. I feel a bit self conscious, but it is nice to get dressed up now and again and we were going for a night out in Leeds the next day.
Afterwards we went back to the Village for a bite to eat and a couple of drinks. Upstairs in  Via Diana took a photo of me that I really like.

To me it looks a bit like I've been dropped into the set of Alice in Wonderland. Actually the North of England is a wonderland to me.

I did once see The Village in Manchester described as The Magic Kingdom. It has it's problems but hopefully they can be sorted out and the idiots go somewhere else.

The night came to a close and it was time to get some sleep for the trip to Leeds.

Leeds First Friday

6 30 am I went to see the night manager to see if I had to move rooms. He was great and said to me to get my breakfast and come back and it would be sorted. I did and he was true to his word. 

Kate and Mrs Kate would be arriving in the afternoon as would Emma who would be driving us to Leeds and using my room to get changed.

Diana and myself had the morning free so we went for a wander. It is so liberating to wander round the city centre, go shopping, have a coffee. Just normal stuff and get no hassle.   

It came time where I had to get back to the hotel for Emma. Diana had a couple of things to do so we parted company. Emma eventually turned up after getting caught in horrendous traffic. I left her in peace to get ready.

I went off to Taurus to meet up with Kate and Mrs Kate, Diana was there as well. When I got to Taurus it really struck me how happy my friends looked. The only way I  can put it is it was like a beautiful glow surrounded the 3 of them. 

Emma turned up and that was  5 of us. We had something to eat and a chat. I think the Taurus staff could see there was a buzz about us. Emma was driving us through to Leeds which was really good of her. For an overnight stay our luggage filled the boot.

We got to Leeds and checked into a Travel Lodge just after 8pm. Diana and myself had been out all day so we had to redo our make up so we took longer to get ready. In the lift we spoke to a bloke who seemed to be at ease with us. We actually met him later, well her. She recognised us and she looked very different.

When we were ready we all met for a drink in the bar before heading out.

We were in Leeds for a T event called First Friday which has become very popular. The only time I have seen so many tgirls in one place is Sparkle. It's great to see things like this happening in cities as well as Manchester. The Gay community has it's Pride events up and down the country  every year. Perhaps an event like Sparkle will appear in other cities as well as Manchester. I think Leeds would be a good place to bet on for that happening. We went to the Blavds pub where everyone was meeting.

A literal stones throw from where we were staying the place was packed. The one thing that struck me was everyone was really friendly. I spoke to a couple of the organisers Mandy and Cindy. I hope I've got that right.

I did feel a bit self conscious being out of my jeans, but I think I looked ok. One thing that was a bit of a disaster was my make up. With my oily skin and the heat it tends to ruin it plus I used a bit to much blusher.

The picture below shows me how I was.

I made it smaller so not to frighten anyone.

We moved on to the Viaduct Bar a place Diana and myself went to when we came through to Leeds last year for an afternoon. We thought we would show the 2 Kates and Emma where we had been.. After that we went across the road to Queens Court. 

In the Courtyard we must have looked a bit lost. A nice lesbian door lady showed us to The Loft where everyone seemed to be going. Inside it was more upmarket that Naps in Manchester. There were a lot of lesbians some of  who didn't seem to be to happy with the place filling up with tgirls. Two were mucking about and banged into me quite heavily, but they couldn't have been nicer and were full of apologies which wasn't needed. The toilet's were like a war zone with some fighting and seeing how many they could fit in a cubicle. Myself I had no problems everyone was really friendly.  

I got to do a bit of dancing which I love and the music was definitely good. Going outside for a smoke the doorman cleared some people who were arguing. I was treated with the greatest of respect which is an amazing boost.  I did see some sights I won't repeat here.

It was a fantastic night that I really enjoyed and hopefully I'll be back in Leeds again.

Saturday. Back Home to Manchester

Manchester in many ways feels like a second home. I've always loved the city way before I was getting out like I do now. I could go into my life story, but that would not be a good idea here. Throughout my life most of my best friends have been from or strongly connected with the city and that is continuing. It seems regardless of where I go or do. The city draws me back.

Anyway back to Leeds for the moment. After the night's events that finished about 3am. I had a few hours sleep and then spent about 40 minutes doing my make up after a nice relaxing bath. Life just felt so good.

I went down to the reception and was surprised to see Emma having a coffee. She really had gone for it having quite a bit to drink. She kindly got me a coffee and we had a nice chat. The 2 Kates and Diana appeared not long afterwards and we decided to get breakfast in the Travel Lodge which I really enjoyed.

We reviewed the night which I think everyone enjoyed. The weather wasn't to good so we all agreed that rather than  going for a look round Leeds we would go back to Manchester. 

Back in Manchester we decided to split up and go shopping  It's never a good idea for a big group of us to go around the city centre. 3 together is probably the limit to save attracting unwanted attention.

Diana, Emma and myself  went to Debenhams but we ended up going our separate ways.

Later that evening we all met up in Velvet for a meal. Then we went to Spirit for a couple of drinks.

There seemed to be a strange atmosphere in the Village. The police seemed to be out in force. Outside Spirit a WPC Horserider gave me a really beautiful smile as she passed.

The night came to a close after  some dancing in Naps.

Sunday

Sunday morning I had arranged to meet Diana for breakfast at the Rem but unfortunately that wasn't to be, but we did get a coffee and something to eat at a great little place by Sackville Gardens. It was a beautiful day if not a little chilly. We decided to go for a drive and we ended up at Sport City where Di took a couple of pictures of me.  

  

The picture above is outside The City of Manchester Stadium. My late wife must have been smiling. She loved football and it really was a beautiful day.

We drove back to the Village and met up with the 2 Kates in Taurus where we all indulged in some chocolate cake. Emma had departed earlier. Kate and Mrs Kate then had to set off for home so after some hugs that left Di and myself.

I took Di to a jewellers where I bought a watch last time out. She bought a lovely pair of ear rings. Later on we went for something to eat in Eden and then after a couple of drinks Di had to get home. Another wonderful 4 days had come to an end.

In Conclusion

It was a fantastic time out. I've been out in a few places in the North of England. The Judie Tzuke song Wonderland kept running through my head. Sometimes when I'm out it feels like I am in a wonderland, I wore a dress for the first time outside the Village instead of jeans and a top. I only got one horrible comment walking along Portland St to my hotel. Actually I've had worse in the Village. There were a couple of things that put a slight damper on this time out, but  really I had a wonderful time. .

Hopefully I'll be back in Wonderland before long.

Karen xx 

Out again, cold, watches, six words

I decided to go Manchester for 3 nights midweek. Got there on Tuesday and stayed at Easysleep in The Village. Unfortunately I was coming down with a cold which set off my crazy over zealous immune system. Nothing  serious, but a reminder none the less.
Once in the hotel I unpacked and decided to try and get a couple of hours sleep before getting ready to go out. I lay down the room in complete darkness and just couldn't sleep. I felt horrible and thought to myself I should have stayed at home. I was going through a stream of tissues with my nose.
This is probably going to sound daft, but when I go away to get out, one of the first things I do when I get my hotel room is take my watch off and put on a more fem watch.  The watch I wear day to day has become a symbol of my male aspect. I hadn't taken the watch off. I hadn't thought about it.
Not being able to sleep I decided to take a walk into the city centre. It felt weird out in Manchester presenting as male. (Sorry just had to say that.) Guess that shows how confused I am. Usually it's just the walk from the station to the hotel. Getting across that area in the city centre where all the trams and buses seem to build up I saw a jewellers that had a watch I really wanted.
The watch itself is like a charm bracelet. I went in and bought it. The counter assistant asked if I wanted it wrapped. She thought it was for my girlfriend for Valentines Day. I didn't bother saying much, just mumbled.
Watch bought I decided to go back to the hotel and get changed. It would be at least interesting to see if my make up would hold up with the cold and my nose.
Back at the hotel I got ready then went for a couple of tuna sandwiches. Back in The Village I then went for a couple of drinks in Eden. My make up seemed to be staying put under my nose.
The Village on a Tuesday night was very quiet. After a couple of hours out I decided it would be a good idea to get some sleep.

Wednesday

I woke up feeling slightly better, but my nose hadn't eased up. It took me just over an hour to get ready. I had the hottest shower I could stand which helped. I went of into the city centre. The MAC counter in Selfridges was my first stop. Actually I would be back there later in the day with Emma.
I would meet Emma in the afternoon, so I had about 3 hours before  I headed back to The Village to meet her.
It was good to be out again wandering round the shops. I ended up buying a few things including a new pair of shoes and another handbag. I actually bought 2 handbags this time.
I felt a bit better and I was actually enjoying myself.
It came time to start heading back to The Village. I stopped off for a coffee where my bracelet caught and came apart. A lady decided to help me and I think got a surprise when she saw me properly and I spoke, thanking her.
On the way back to The Village I saw a jacket I really liked and bought it.It will also lighten my luggage as it doesn't take up as much room as my coat.
I dropped everything off in my hotel room checked my make up which was holding up reasonably well. Emma was staying in a hotel just down the road. It was about 3pm after a couple of texts I headed off down to meet her, that's when it started to snow.
Once we met up we went into the city centre and ended up at the MAC counter in Selfridges. Emma had a make over. I got to watch some of it. When the assistant did her eyes. I learned quite a bit. I would like to say thank you to Emma for allowing me to watch. It's not often you get to see a professional at work and when she had finished Emma looked stunning, not that she didn't look good before. After both of us probably spending to much money we left to get back to The Village where we would be meeting up with some of the other girls for a meal.
One thing I bought was Studio Sculpt concealer which seems to have better coverage than MAC's usual concealer. I'll have to try the Studio Sculpt foundation now which is supposed to give very good coverage,
Back in The Village I got changed and Kate turned up from work. She used my room to get ready as she didn't have enough time if she went home. Mrs Kate would be meeting us at Taurus where we were having the meal. Kate didn't take long to get ready. I wish I could be that quick. Maybe with more practise doing my make up.
Kate went to meet Mrs Kate and I went off to meet Emma and KD.
In the New Union bar I found them both and we had a quick drink. It was great to see KD again. I know she does not get out as much as she would like. We had a chat, but time was moving on so we headed to Taurus. Emma was in pain with her leg from an injury and the heels she was wearing I don't think helped.
In Taurus there was 10 of us all together. I was sat next to KD and across from Bev and her wife who had met last time out. It was great to see them again and have a chat. It was also nice to meet Claire. I never got to really have much of a chat with Tina and Mandy, which was a shame because I hadn't seen them for awhile. I did get to chat to Diana who told me about a TG festival in the States that dwarfs Sparkle in this country. It would be a once in a lifetime experience, but I'll leave it at that for now.
After the meal, we went to the Manchester Concord and then  I went for a quick drink with Mandy, Tina, KD and Emma in Paddy's Goose. Emma and myself then went to Naps to join up with Diana and the two Kates. Doing any dancing was out for me unfortunately. I was enjoying myself, but I probably wasn't very good company. We ended up downstairs where it was a bit quieter and I caught up on what had been happening since I had last been down.  Eventually the night came to an end.

Thursday
 After a reasonable sleep I went to meet Emma. She moved her gear into my room because she was heading home in the afternoon and would use my room to get changed so that would give us some extra time out.
In the city centre I tried to do my tour guide bit without getting lost.
We went to cafe for some breakfast and I suggested going on the Big Wheel. I had gone on it with Diana first time I had ventured out into the city centre. That seems a long time ago now. You certainly get a good view at the top. The ride came to an end. After going for a couple of coffees in the Arndale and a good chat we had to head back for Emma to get changed. I hope Emma enjoyed herself, I  certainly did.
There wasn't much that I did after Emma left.
It was wonderful seeing my friends again and even though I wasn't feeling to good I enjoyed myself.
Only being able to get out now and again really hurts and afterwards I can end up really down.
Someone once asked me if I was trying to simulate a 'Real Life Experience'. I do prefer being out in the daytime than sitting in a bar in The Village with loud music. I love being with friends having a chat and exploring new places or just out shopping. I don't know about trying to simulate anything.
I was also asked if I had the choice would I transition? The answer would be no, because I already have the choice and have never made any effort to go down that road. What does that make me? I really don't know.
Over at another blog, Matt Kailey's  Tranifesto  there is a post  Tranifesto: My life in six words: a six-word memoir
 Anybody reading this should have a look at the post and perhaps try it.
Mine wasn't very good but I think it sums my life up.
I don't when I'll be out again so this blog may be inactive for awhile.
Thanks for reading and look after yourselves. I'll leave with my six words.
Karen xx

Hide, Run, No Escape, Journey, Twists