Tuesday 22 September 2009

Time Passes So Quickly

I spent a wonderful 5 days in Manchester and Blackpool virtually out full time. It's amazing how quickly the time passed. Unfortunately last time I did something similar awhile back my eye went haywire when I got home.
On the Wednesday when the train pulled into Manchester an overwhelming feeling of joy engulfed me. It felt like I was home. I get to be really me. Now Manchester wouldn't be described as beautiful city by many, but it is to me. I've heard some TG people say that staying in the Village is just swapping one closet for another,but really who cares. It's not a competition to see how far you can open the door. It's about living and enjoying life.

I got my room and then quickly went to the chemist to get some make up remover and assorted other bits and clear nail varnish. I've never worn nail varnish, but decided to give it a go. I must admit my nails do look better even with the clear.
That evening I met up with Kate and Diana, for a meal in Eden. It was great to see them both and catch up. In Naps there was a young gay lad bouncing around like a loon and was trying to look up my skirt so Diana told me when he was rolling about the dance floor. On the Friday when I went to the New Union where Diana was staying. While I was waiting for her in the bar 2 young lads who said they were free lance journalists asked me if they could interview me about the gay scene in Manchester. I told them that I am not gay, but they said they would still like my views. I've heard some lines in my time, but I said ok. They were polite and not being annoying. They did ask how I would describe my sexuality. I told them I am hetro, but haven't had sex in years and it does not bother me so I'm probably asexual. They seemed to be surprised and intrigued by this. I told them me presenting as female does not have anything to do with sex. If the right woman came along fine.but I am not looking. I'm happy with who I am and I really don't want the trauma of coming out to a partner again. Diana turned up and recognised one of them. He was the lad who was rolling about the dance floor on Wednesday. Give him his due he was embarrassed and apologised. We both were asked some more questions. I always wonder why people have to equate being TG with sexuality. For me it's about my identity and I love being out just doing normal day to day things like shopping, going for a coffee, even just going for a walk when presenting as female. It's not overwhelming where I feel the need to transition. There was a time I felt I may be on that journey and it was a hellish confusing time for me. I don't know if there is a tipping point you reach, but if there is I didn't. I really don't know what people go through to get to where they have no choice but to transition. I have the greatest respect for them, because it is a tough journey to take, probably one of the toughest to take in this life. One of these days perhaps the society we live in will one day recognise that and stop the crap.
I guess I've got a bit of track.
On Thursday I was by myself so I went into the city centre to do some shopping. I bought a few tops, cardigans and a pair of ankle boots and a couple of pieces of jewellery. I had no problems. All the shop assistants were fantastic. I was probably wandering round with a big smile on my face. If you look happy I think people respond to that. That night I went to Taurus for a meal. I must say the staff in Taurus are great. I always enjoy eating there. A couple of drinks in View and I decided to have an early night, Back in my room I checked my email and stuck a DVD on,
Tomorrow I was meeting Kate and going to the Trafford Centre. I went to bed feeling like a very happy girl. Every time I'm out I never want it to end. It's like living in a beautiful dream, I know that's the best it will be, but a least I can live that dream for a short time. In that respect I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
Friday morning I had to get the train to where I was meeting Kate. I had suggested this to save her driving into the city centre to pick me up as we were going out to the Trafford Centre. It turned out I had to change trains at Oxford Road. I could have walked to Oxford Road but couldn't remember how to get there. The first train was absolutely packed. The second was the completely the opposite. I got to where I was going and met Kate. We went to her house first for a coffee and to see Mrs Kate who was feeling under a bit under the weather. It was good to see Mrs Kate wasn't to bad she said she would be out with Kate on Saturday. The 2 Kates are a lovely couple and it was an honour to see their beautiful home.
We went off to the Trafford Centre for a great afternoon shopping and lunch. It was great being able to have a chat with Kate without the loud music you get in the bars at night in the Village. I love getting out with my friends during the day and just doing everyday stuff. Afterwards Kate ran me back to the Village.
That night I met up with Diana during the infamous interview. We went for a meal in Taurus and Kate turned up as we finished. Unfortunately there was a bit of a mix up, but Kate got something to eat and then we went to the New Union to find Emma and Mrs Emma. We didn't find them, but after a couple of texts we went over to Eden to see them. It was great to see them both and after a couple of drinks we all decided to go over to Manto a bar we had never been it before. Now leaving Eden I had a quite unsavory moment. I was last out and it was quite busy and we had to pass this bloke who was very drunk. 2 women were telling him to let us pass. As I was passing he grabbed me and put his arm round my shoulders. I told him to get of me and he just squeezed tighter. The 2 women told him to let me be. He thought this was funny.
I am not violent, but I told him in no uncertain terms that if he did not get his hands of me I would flatten him. He released me and gave me the stare, but thought better of doing anything as others were watching him now. There are lots of blokes about in this country who have to act like complete idiots and try to make other peoples lives a misery for their own amusement. To me the drunken antics of some people up and down the UK is a sad reflection of this country. I have no problem with people drinking, just the moronic behavior.
The next night, Saturday, we all met up in Velvet joined by Mrs Kate, Mandy and Tina. It was great to see them again. Before that Diana and myself did some more shopping in the afternoon we had to get back early as we were all meeting up about 6pm for a meal and then try a few places the others hadn't been in the Village. There was 8 of us in Velvet and we had a good meal, chat and a few laughs. We ended up going to few places later on, Churchhills, Spirit, New York New York and finally Naps New York New York was boiling. The heat got to be to much. I remember Mandy was suffering and I ended outside with her. I think I called it a night at about 3am. Later that morning Di and myself would take a trip up to Blackpool.

Di and myself got the train a Piccadilly. It took just over an hour to Blackpool it was a beautiful day actually very warm. We walked all the way to the South Pier and back again from the North Pier so we probably did a few miles. In a cafe Di left her jacket and I forgot to pay. The assistant came out after us and I was mortified. She was fine, but I felt really bad. We had a wander on to the South Pier but didn't stay long as it was really busy. We went to the Flying Handbag a T friendly bar and then a nearby Indian Restaurant. After the meal we went back to the Flying Handbag for a couple more drinks and met Karen another tgirl up from North Wales I think.
It came time for us to get the train back to Manchester. We got back about 10pm. We went for a couple of drinks in Taurus and then all to soon we parted company. My time out as Karen was effectively over.
I know a lot of what I have written is probably very boring, but for me being able to present as female makes me feel so alive. I can leave my male side behind for awhile. I am always very sad when my times out end and I know I will get down , but there is always next time.
To my friends, Kate, Mrs Kate, Diana, Emma. Mrs Emma, Mandy and Tina, if you read this and get this far, thank you for a fantastic 5 days.
Love
Karen xxx

5 comments:

Diana Richards said...

Hi Karen, and so glad you enjoyed yourself, apart from the Eden loon.
If we had but known, he could have ended up in the canal.
hugs
Di
xxx

Mrs Kate said...

What a lovely post Karen - Heres to next time - I will start on the vitamin tablets now! xx

Lucy Melford said...

I didn't find any part of your post boring at all! It was a pleasure to read, because you so clearly enjoyed yourself.

Interesting that you don't feel any pressure to transition. That does seem to give you an enhanced sense of freedom when out and about as a female: in no sense are you doing anything because you 'have to'.

I hope the opportunity for a 'next time' comes soon for you.

Lucy

Emma Walkey said...

Karen,

so pleased you enjoyed yourself. We too enjoyed your company and many of your comments about how you feel I subscribe too.

Out with the "gang" is something special that sustains me when times are not so great

Just looking forward to the next time we can meet - don't forget London mid November

Love

Emma xxx

Karen said...

Hi,
Diana, throwing him in the canal might have sobered him up.

Mrs Kate, Thanks and I hope you are feeling better.

Lucy, thanks for your comment. It's always a pleasure for me to get out and spend time with my friends. I am very lucky, but I know I may not always be able to, so I make the most of now and take every chance, to get out. It's a bit complicated when it comes to how my body may turn against me if the the ms decides to rear its head but in other ways it's very simple, live for today and don't worry to much about the future.

Emma,Thanks it was great seeing you and Mrs Emma again and I know what you mean about being out with the 'gang' everybody has helped me more than you could all know.
I haven't forgot about London. I'll be in touch.

I could have written a lot more but it started to turn into a mega post.
Thanks everybody for your comments they are much apprieciated.
Karen xx