Friday, 26 March 2021

Covid Lockdown and Life Changes

 Thought the previous post  would be the last but guess that was not to be. A medical condition has reappeared which has shaken me badly, but I am dealing with it as best I can. I came out to family as non binary, with various reactions from what I understand. I  did it over the phone which was not good. I didn't want to do it that way, but this lockdown is soul destroying. Hopefully it will ease and I can get out and away for a break.

Going to see family will be interesting. I have said I will not present as female in any way as that is what they want when they see me. I got a feeling of mistrust, but my feeling is I have put all my trust in them now. I was never going to turn up  as female. They never have to see me unless they want to.

I stated that whatever questions if any they have I will answer. One thing I found annoying was being told its my choice to be this way if I want. It's never been a choice. It's who I am. Been through the purges saying that's it. Never decided one day I would like to be transgender. Society's attitude made me soul search, thinking all sorts of bad things about myself  how people would perceive me etc 

As for acceptance, if and how I don't know. I feel a greater sense of freedom now. They know me better and in a strange way they are coming out to me with how they think and what they say or don't say.

I love  them dearly and always will.

Love and Light xxx       


Tuesday, 19 January 2021

Chinese New year January 2020 Saturday


I got myself a quick breakfast at the train station and hopped on a train to Blackpool. It was straight through from Manchester which was fine.
I came in at Blackpool North station. Blackpool had changed quiet a bit since I had last been there. One of my best times out was when my friends had taken me out in Blackpool for my birthday. I rang Kate to find out where her hotel was.
After some minor problems with the phone I  found her hotel where she, Suki and another lady ,Anna who I  had met  briefly before were waiting.
After a drink the plan was to catch a tram to Fleetwood.
It was really cold and windy. On the front Anna, Kate, Suki and myself caught a tram. I
must admit the trams have had a big upgrade compared to the last time I was  in Blackpool.

After a bit of shopping in the free port area of Fleetwood, we caught a tram back to Blackpool.
I then caught a train back to Manchester. It had been a lovely afternoon with the girls.

Back in Manchester I met up with Diana and Ash. It was lovely to see them both, but I had a bit of a problem with the one venue which was packed and I felt at one point I was going to pass out. At that point I felt it would be better to call it a night.

I woke feeling not to bad. I was disappointed with myself having to cut Saturday night short with Diana and Ash.
In the afternoon I went into Chinatown to see the Chinese New Year celebrations. It was very busy.  

       It's been nearly a year since I started this post and Covid 19 has swept the world. Lockdown after lockdown. People losing their lives to it. Job losses. I fear for the future. Vaccines are starting to be used to combat the virus. Personally my future has started to look more bleak with something else. I would love to get out again. When that might be I don't know. I guess this blog is it's final stages.

                                                                Love and Light

Saturday, 1 February 2020

January 2020 Chinese New Year Friday


I had a tiring train trip down the previous day. When I woke I felt good to be in Manchester. I thought it would be nice to take a trip to Leeds. I love shopping there. My plan was to see about getting a Pandora charm bracelet.

I got the train to Leeds which was fine although it took over an hour . There have been a lot of problems with the trains in Northern England with time tables and such. I got my bracelet and a couple of charms. I also bought a tan leather style jacket and a jumper. The sun was out but cold. I had a lovely day out.
It came time to head back to Manchester. Back at the hotel I decided to get my dinner. The café style restaurant was empty. I ordered a burger. Half way through my meal the place filled with older people attending a ceramics conference. The lady in charge spoke to me very concerned I was on my own. I had to explain that I was not part of the conference. They were all lovely and I did hear some ask 'why is that lady on her own', I didn't think it was me they were asking about. I had one more drink and then took a wander into the Village.
It was 'Manchester Minx' night,  a support group my friend Kate runs. They usually meet one Friday in the month at the On Bar, but tonight they had gone to Blackpool.
The Village was very quiet for a Friday and there weren't many in the On Bar.

I went for a couple of more drinks around The Village and then decided to call it a night.
I wore my new jacket which I was very pleased with.

In the morning I would take a trip to Blackpool to see Kate and Suki then later I would meet up with Diana and Ash.

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

October 2019


Travelled to Manchester on an early start. I had a nice apartment waiting. I dropped my belongings there and went to get some essentials and then got back and fell asleep for a couple of hours. When I woke I got cleaned up prepared some food and experimented with my make up which turned out terrible.
I got a text from Gabby which was unexpected. She was playing at an open night in Tribeca off Sackville Gardens. I decided to go after a repair job to my slap which was still pretty rough. It was dark so I decided it was passable. Gabby was playing guitar and singing with a friend, who for the life of me I can't remember her name.

                                                                   Gabby and friend

They were both great and it was a lovely beginning to my stay.

Unfortunately a blurred picture outside 


I met up with Kristina and we went out to the Trafford Centre. I had not been out there for a long time. I enjoyed the afternoon there, but the bus trip is a bit long. The sooner the tram is connected there the better.
We had a lovely afternoon looking around the shops having lunch and some wine.

I had tried something different with my hair which I think worked.

Back in Manchester we stopped of at my apartment for a coffee and get changed for the evening.
We decided to go some where different for an evening meal. I had heard of a place with a great view of Manchester from one of the city' tallest buildings. I couldn't remember the name so after some research online we found it.
A restaurant/bar called 20 Stories.
Unfortunately it started to rain heavily. Typical of Manchester so not unexpected.
We couldn't get a table as it was really busy so we decided to have a couple of cocktails. 
At the top we could go outside there were big umbrellas to shelter from the rain. The wicker chairs were dry but there was a foam covered bench which was sodden wet near where we were sitting.
There were a lot of giggles when we warned people not to sit on the bench. People were so thankful that we warned as the bench did not look wet. I think we saved them quite a bit of embarrassment.
There were big eco bubble things but they were reserved.

(Kristina with more cocktails)

We decided to move on to find some where to eat which was no mean feat as it was a Friday night.
We ended up going to the Ivy roof garden restaurant. The menu's were hard to read as the font was so small. We managed to order and Kristina realised that she had left her glasses at 20 Stories. She decided to go and see if they had been found and possibly handed in. 
Of she went and then the wine came. I didn't think she would find her glasses.
Sitting alone I drank some wine as the waiter filled my glass from the bottle in the ice bucket.
Kristina came back happy to have found her glasses, they had been handed in. There was a bottle of water on the table. Kristina filled her glass and mine thinking it was the wine. She hadn't seen the ice bucket. I had to laugh when she realised what she had done. She then went for the wine and the waiter was unhappy that he was not serving the wine. By this time I was having a fit of giggles.
The meal was lovely, but the desert was pure heaven.

Chocolate bombe desert that was amazing.

After the beautiful meal we went back to The Village for more cocktails at Oscars.
The evening came to an end and Kristina went home. It had been a wonderful day and I was a bit sad but happy I had spent a wonderful day with a great friend. 


My plans for the day were to go shopping for food and such, then meet Di and Ash in the evening.
First of I had woken with a hangover from the cocktails and wine the night before. This was my first in years.
Coffee and breakfast helped me recover

Something surprising happened when I was out shopping I found a dress I liked. I don't wear a dress much as I really like my jeans, but I thought it would be great for the evening.

                                                                          My new dress

In one shop as I was in the queue a man was looking at the vaping stuff and was horrified at the price. He commented to me it was terrible how much it cost. To me it is just great when people talk to me as just another person. I love it when I just blend in.

I went out in the evening to meet Di and Ash. We had a lovely time in The Village. Sadly I never got any photos. What was funny was a rugby team in drag with full beards. Actually some had some nice outfits.
It was great to spend some time with Di and Ash, they are a lovely couple who I don't see much of these days, so it's always special to see them.

Sunday was really a rest day. No one I knew was out. I saw an interesting Polish street performer outside the Arndale. He made a great joke about his nationality and Brexit. His thing was to escape from hand cuffs and then a strait jacket. The joke was that when Brexit happened the authorities would try to put him in a strait jacket.  He did a good show and had people laughing and enjoying his performance.

I had a good walk and then back to The Village.

Sunday afternoon the city centre was very quiet.

Around The Village there is a lot being built.

A giant crane with its boom looming overhead.

The Village very quiet.

Back in The Village, I visited a few bars and then called it a night. Before that I went to see my favourite tree in Sackville Gardens.

The Tree of Life

One thing I did was to try and get my hair right. The pictures below show my attempt. I had to use my camera to see the back of my head. I am still learning as I go. Hopefully it worked ok. I do like the look I got.

I am still living in the shadow of a dream. What did make me smile was the back looks way better than the front view.

A last drink in Velvet. I decided to get some sleep. The last few days had been great and  I think I had made some progress. I felt really happy. One more day left to explore and that would be fun.


I wanted to go to Huddersfield. It was some where relatively new for me. I guess in the Trans world it is not a place you really hear about.
I went and caught the train.

The train journey was uneventful. When I got to Huddersfield outside the station was the George Hotel. Famous for being the birthplace of Rugby League.

I had a walk into Huddersfield centre which was fine. I was a bit nervous, but everything was fine.

Harold Wilson, Prime Minster in the sixties and seventies. I guess Huddersfield's most famous son. 

I decided to catch another train and go to Leeds.
The city of Leeds is great for shopping. I like the city, I had no intention of buying anything, but I did end up with a pair of jeans. I saw some beautiful dresses and tops, but my card was screaming NO. Anyway I didn't have room in my bag. I thought that Kristina and myself would have been better in Leeds rather than the Trafford Centre.
Eventually I decided to go back to Manchester. I would have a couple of drinks and call it a day.

My new jeans.
A last drink in the Onbar in Manchester.

Being silly with a broom.

This trip had came to an end. I had really enjoyed myself. It was great see friends. This post brought some great memories to the fore. I would say 2019 has been a great year and hopefully I can squeeze in another trip.
Love and Light xxx