Friday, 26 March 2021

Covid Lockdown and Life Changes

 Thought the previous post  would be the last but guess that was not to be. A medical condition has reappeared which has shaken me badly, but I am dealing with it as best I can. I came out to family as non binary, with various reactions from what I understand. I  did it over the phone which was not good. I didn't want to do it that way, but this lockdown is soul destroying. Hopefully it will ease and I can get out and away for a break.

Going to see family will be interesting. I have said I will not present as female in any way as that is what they want when they see me. I got a feeling of mistrust, but my feeling is I have put all my trust in them now. I was never going to turn up  as female. They never have to see me unless they want to.

I stated that whatever questions if any they have I will answer. One thing I found annoying was being told its my choice to be this way if I want. It's never been a choice. It's who I am. Been through the purges saying that's it. Never decided one day I would like to be transgender. Society's attitude made me soul search, thinking all sorts of bad things about myself  how people would perceive me etc 

As for acceptance, if and how I don't know. I feel a greater sense of freedom now. They know me better and in a strange way they are coming out to me with how they think and what they say or don't say.

I love  them dearly and always will.

Love and Light xxx       



Sue Richmond said...

I'm sorry to hear you're unwell and of the upset that it's caused. I hope things improve for you.

Also hoping your family accept and understand you as a trans person and realise it's no choice, just the real you. Good luck.

Best wishes Sue x

Tawny Karen said...

Thanks Sue, things are moving on and I am coping.
Take care, Tawny x