I got up after about 4 hours sleep. Actually the best I'd had in a long time. I got dressed and went out to the shop. Not long after I returned Diana was up and ready. Outside it was another beautiful sunny day. While we were waiting for Kate I asked Di to take some photos. A record of my times out has become really important to me. If there comes a time when I am unable to get out that maybe all I have left. It a sobering thought. The attack on my eye really scared me. I think my biggest fear is losing my eyesight. This is why I need to get the most out of life. The chances are I'll be fine, but just in case.........
Kate appeared and we off for breakfast. I had a big greasy fry up. There was something beautiful about sitting in the sunshine chatting and having breakfast with 2 good friends. We were 3 women out for the day. It's moments like these that make life so beautiful.
We went off into the city centre.I managed to buy a watch, bracelet and a pair of white jeans. I did get another pair of sunglasses after borrowing Kate's, but I found my dodgy eye went weird when I took them off for awhile. I decided to leave them off.
I did my usual visit to the MAC counter in Selfridges and bought a very deep red lipstick. Perhaps over the top, but I love the shade.
After we were all shopped out we headed back to the Village where we met up with Mandy, Emma and her wife for a drink in Taurus. It was great to see Mandy and Emma again and a pleasure to meet Mrs Emma.
I had to go back to the hotel to get changed for the evening. Back in my room I thought this is going to quickly. I wish I had more time. The 5 days I had spent down before was a nice length of time. It felt like a good holiday.
We were all going to meet in the View bar. I arrived first. The Village was very busy as was the View. Just as I got a drink, I saw Tina who looked stunning. We went downstairs to wait for the others. Everybody eventually arrived including Kate's wife, Tina's wife, who I had never met and it was a pleasure to meet her. It was also nice to see Lisa out again.
I had a few questions about the MS and if I was ok. I assured them I was. I had a good chat with Mrs Kate who had been ill recently. I was glad to see she had recovered.
We moved on to Villagio for a lovely meal. Then we went on to Velvet which was packed. When I went out for a smoke some of the girls were outside. I think it had got a bit much for them as well. It was then decided we would all go to Naps. After a couple of dances my feet were really sore so much so I nipped back to my room to changes shoes. Luckily it was just round the corner.
Into a pair of flats I discovered a couple of blisters on my toes. A bit more comfortable I went back. A fantastic night edged to a close. People began to leave. After lots of hugs just Di and myself were left. We decided to call it a night. Di said she wanted to see me up to the train station in the morning.
I had another good sleep, a bit sad another fantastic couple of days had come to an end.
In the morning back in drab I rang Di to see if she was up. I think she got ready in record time.
Dragging my bag up Canal St with Di walking beside me we looked for somewhere to get a cpffee.
We met up with the 2 Kates. Because time was getting on for me catching my train we decided to get a coffee at the train station. It was a beautiful day again and I really did not want to leave.
This was a lovely way to end a fantastic weekend. Me back as a bloke being seen off by 3 beautiful women, my best friends. As the song in another post says 'It's a Beautiful Day', actually they were all beautiful days.
Karen xx
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Monday, 1 June 2009
A Clearer View (and sore feet) Part One Friday 29th May
I had a wonderful weekend in Manchester. There have been a lot of things spinning round my head, but things have been falling into place and getting out again was another piece of the jigsaw that fell into place.
I was nervous for some strange reason, since I was told about the MS. I had been out down here lots of times before . I guess the shock had given me a real knock.
The simple fact I had been told it's my life, how I deal with it is up to me, and that has been reinforced by my GP who I met for the first time today.She was brilliant and very supportive.
I was supposed to meet Kate in the afternoon when I got down on Friday, but she was unavoidable delayed. I got changed and got the war paint on, and then decided to go into the city centre for a quick wander and get some tights.
Walking through the streets, it really struck me, this is me who I am. Male/Female, people can come out with all the labels they want, but I know who I am and what I want to do. I try not to bother or annoy anyone and I take people as I find them. I've been pulling things apart and really looking at myself. I'm lucky, I've had a good life so far. There are some things I wish hadn't happened, but there was really nothing I could do about those. Yes I do have hang ups like coming out fully. What would be the point, just a load of grief. It saddens me to see how some people in the Trans community are treated and even within it there are those with their own agenda. Politics in any sphere can be a snake pit. You have to tread carefully to avoid being bitten.
This in a strange way has been a boost. I've been told that I'm in charge of my life as much as possible and to use that to live it. I intend to and this was a good start. For me things have never been clearer. My life has had many twists and turns and there will probably be a few more before I'm finished. I have coped and will continue to cope the best I can. Life is to precious to just throw away.
I bought some tights in Frasers and returned to the Village doing some window shopping on the way. It was glorious sunny day and it was like any problems had just melted away.
Kate had arrived and was nearly ready so I walked down to her hotel to meet up.
Kate looked great in her summer outfit, We went to Taurus for a couple of drinks while we waited for Diana.
I hadn't seen Diana since she had some cosmetic surgery done. I always thought Diana looked great, but when she turned up I thought WOW! She looked amazing. Her face looked softer even more feminine. We had a table by the window which was open. I had to nip outside and stood by the window. Diana gave me a disapproving look when I lit up a ciggie. Unfortunately after being told I had MS I did fall back into that bad habit. We did have a laugh and joked about it and took some silly pictures.
We had a lovely meal and Diana and Kate brought me up to speed on everything that had happened since I'd been down last.
It came time to go back to our rooms for a quick change and then we went to the Bar Below then onto Naps. It was great to be out dancing again. We stayed to near 4am.
We agreed to meet up in the morning about 10 30am to go shopping.
I went back to my room for a few hours sleep a very happy lass
I was nervous for some strange reason, since I was told about the MS. I had been out down here lots of times before . I guess the shock had given me a real knock.
The simple fact I had been told it's my life, how I deal with it is up to me, and that has been reinforced by my GP who I met for the first time today.She was brilliant and very supportive.
I was supposed to meet Kate in the afternoon when I got down on Friday, but she was unavoidable delayed. I got changed and got the war paint on, and then decided to go into the city centre for a quick wander and get some tights.
Walking through the streets, it really struck me, this is me who I am. Male/Female, people can come out with all the labels they want, but I know who I am and what I want to do. I try not to bother or annoy anyone and I take people as I find them. I've been pulling things apart and really looking at myself. I'm lucky, I've had a good life so far. There are some things I wish hadn't happened, but there was really nothing I could do about those. Yes I do have hang ups like coming out fully. What would be the point, just a load of grief. It saddens me to see how some people in the Trans community are treated and even within it there are those with their own agenda. Politics in any sphere can be a snake pit. You have to tread carefully to avoid being bitten.
This in a strange way has been a boost. I've been told that I'm in charge of my life as much as possible and to use that to live it. I intend to and this was a good start. For me things have never been clearer. My life has had many twists and turns and there will probably be a few more before I'm finished. I have coped and will continue to cope the best I can. Life is to precious to just throw away.
I bought some tights in Frasers and returned to the Village doing some window shopping on the way. It was glorious sunny day and it was like any problems had just melted away.
Kate had arrived and was nearly ready so I walked down to her hotel to meet up.
Kate looked great in her summer outfit, We went to Taurus for a couple of drinks while we waited for Diana.
I hadn't seen Diana since she had some cosmetic surgery done. I always thought Diana looked great, but when she turned up I thought WOW! She looked amazing. Her face looked softer even more feminine. We had a table by the window which was open. I had to nip outside and stood by the window. Diana gave me a disapproving look when I lit up a ciggie. Unfortunately after being told I had MS I did fall back into that bad habit. We did have a laugh and joked about it and took some silly pictures.
We had a lovely meal and Diana and Kate brought me up to speed on everything that had happened since I'd been down last.
It came time to go back to our rooms for a quick change and then we went to the Bar Below then onto Naps. It was great to be out dancing again. We stayed to near 4am.
We agreed to meet up in the morning about 10 30am to go shopping.
I went back to my room for a few hours sleep a very happy lass
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
My World.- Past, Present, Future? (or me rambling on again)
When I decided to start this blog, I had never really done anything like this before.
The first post was about Mars. I was unsure what to write if not a little nervous.
I remember I had put a post up about my first time out in 20 years as Karen, on the Angels Forum. Next week it'll be a year since I started this blog. I've recorded what were for me some wonderful times. At this point in time I feel I've been given one massive kick up the backside.
I guess I wasn't very imaginative when I called it My World. I did once like playing computer games where I could take over the world or even the universe.
It's been a pretty intense 12 months, and this blog only has some of what I've been doing. I think I've managed to come out of my shell quite a bit, and I know I'm more confident. I've actually really enjoyed life in the last year. I managed to come out of what were some tough times for me. I've met some wonderful people some of who read my ramblings and they have become really good friends.
Everything was going great, at times better than I could ever of dreamed. Then as you may have seen a few posts earlier it was like a bomb got dropped into My World. I really didn't see that one coming.
Being told I have MS was a shock to say the least. I knew a small bit about it which turned out to be not very much at all. Actually nobody knows what causes it. Got a new word burned into brain. Myelin. Seems my immune system likes to attack it occasionally.
One thing I noticed reading about it on the net was that it seems twice as many women have MS as men. Time for a really mad thought.Did being TG increase my chances, make me more susceptible. Crazy how you can try and connect things.
I recently left a comment on another girls' blog, "You can't win every battle, but that does not mean you've lost either." That just popped into my head as I was reading her post and I thought that applies to me.
I also saw a programme about the New Zealand SAS and the 9 month training cycle they go through to be selected. They talked a lot about developing the right mental attitude, for me thats something I've got to do.
I've always tried to look for the positives in anything. This may be a difficult one,but I'll give it my best shot.
I've never really posted anything much about the last time I was out,except about the mishap in a certain store in Liverpool 1.
I spent 5 days out the longest I've left my male aspect well and truly in the background. It was an amazing experience and to be honest it felt to short.
On a side note I would love to rent one of those apartments, that I have stayed in, for a week. Something I will have to do first is permanently remove my facial hair.
I am debating whether to do it. Now things have become more urgent, the decision will be made soon. It would be so much easier not to continually be shaving and hopefully I wouldn't have to plaster the make up on.
I went through to Blackpool on the train. It was great to see the old place again, but I must say it was looking a bit worse for wear. I only stayed for a couple of hours wandering round the town centre. I did a bit of shopping and then it was time to head back. The train journey back was probably the most enjoyable train journey I've ever been on. The train was packed with students returning home from their union conference. I must admit I felt very nervous plus I thought my make up might be melting with the heat. I needn't have worried I ended up chatting to some of them. Mainly talking politics, they didn't bat an eyelid when speaking to me. Just treated me as another woman they had met on the train. I must admit it was a fantastic feeling. Unfortunately they all got off at Preston.
Back in Manchester I stopped to talk to a lass handing out anti BNP leaflets. The way things have been going in this country and with the MP's expenses scandals, their is a chance one of those morons could get elected in the up coming Euro elections.I've added a link below to the site of anti fascist magazine Searchlight. We wished each other well and I headed back to the Village.
Searchlight
The next day with Diana and the two Kates we went through to Liverpool on the train.
Unfortunately as recorded in a previous post the day fell flat.
The next day Diana and myself went shopping in Manchester where our faith was restored and we couldn't have been treated better. Diana bought a beautiful dress for the ballroom dancing that night.
It was a really fun evening with June Collins from Ireland giving us lessons. One thing I was thankful for was not falling over, but I really do have 2 left feet.
The next day Sunday we spent the afternoon at Trans-Fixed where June was having a make over and photo shoot. We also met up with Jane a really nice lass who I had met a couple of times before.
Diana had to head of home and I met up with June later on for a few drinks.
When the evening came to an end, June and myself parted company. I got talking to a woman outside the Annexe where I was staying. She seemed to have had a bit to much to drink and started coming on to me. I really was tempted. It has been a long time, but I thought no. If she had been a bit more sober I think I would have. She wasn't blazing, but enough to feel like it would be taking advantage.
5 wonderful days came to an end. I guess this account is a bit subdued. It did get overshadowed by the Transphobic incident in Liverpool and later on when the crap hit the fan for me.
Which ever way I look at it life has changed for me. I don't know if it was a good idea coming out about the MS on here. I was feeling very low. It has given me a new perspective on a few things. I've thought about what will happen if the worst happens, but then again what is the worst. I hope I never find out. It's not death I fear but extreme pain. From what I understand it does not kill many people. It's horrible thing when your own body turns against you. Ok this can't be cured, but what must be torture is when something can be treated or corrected and isn't due to the cost.
To me watching the carry on with these MP's lately and the billions the government wants to spend on Trident is just sick.
To end I'm really looking forward to the couple of days out in Manchester next week.
In a way it feels a bit like a new start, but it isn't really, only that I know myself better in a lot of ways, and some things are much clearer.
Life is for Living
Karen xxx
The first post was about Mars. I was unsure what to write if not a little nervous.
I remember I had put a post up about my first time out in 20 years as Karen, on the Angels Forum. Next week it'll be a year since I started this blog. I've recorded what were for me some wonderful times. At this point in time I feel I've been given one massive kick up the backside.
I guess I wasn't very imaginative when I called it My World. I did once like playing computer games where I could take over the world or even the universe.
It's been a pretty intense 12 months, and this blog only has some of what I've been doing. I think I've managed to come out of my shell quite a bit, and I know I'm more confident. I've actually really enjoyed life in the last year. I managed to come out of what were some tough times for me. I've met some wonderful people some of who read my ramblings and they have become really good friends.
Everything was going great, at times better than I could ever of dreamed. Then as you may have seen a few posts earlier it was like a bomb got dropped into My World. I really didn't see that one coming.
Being told I have MS was a shock to say the least. I knew a small bit about it which turned out to be not very much at all. Actually nobody knows what causes it. Got a new word burned into brain. Myelin. Seems my immune system likes to attack it occasionally.
One thing I noticed reading about it on the net was that it seems twice as many women have MS as men. Time for a really mad thought.Did being TG increase my chances, make me more susceptible. Crazy how you can try and connect things.
I recently left a comment on another girls' blog, "You can't win every battle, but that does not mean you've lost either." That just popped into my head as I was reading her post and I thought that applies to me.
I also saw a programme about the New Zealand SAS and the 9 month training cycle they go through to be selected. They talked a lot about developing the right mental attitude, for me thats something I've got to do.
I've always tried to look for the positives in anything. This may be a difficult one,but I'll give it my best shot.
I've never really posted anything much about the last time I was out,except about the mishap in a certain store in Liverpool 1.
I spent 5 days out the longest I've left my male aspect well and truly in the background. It was an amazing experience and to be honest it felt to short.
On a side note I would love to rent one of those apartments, that I have stayed in, for a week. Something I will have to do first is permanently remove my facial hair.
I am debating whether to do it. Now things have become more urgent, the decision will be made soon. It would be so much easier not to continually be shaving and hopefully I wouldn't have to plaster the make up on.
I went through to Blackpool on the train. It was great to see the old place again, but I must say it was looking a bit worse for wear. I only stayed for a couple of hours wandering round the town centre. I did a bit of shopping and then it was time to head back. The train journey back was probably the most enjoyable train journey I've ever been on. The train was packed with students returning home from their union conference. I must admit I felt very nervous plus I thought my make up might be melting with the heat. I needn't have worried I ended up chatting to some of them. Mainly talking politics, they didn't bat an eyelid when speaking to me. Just treated me as another woman they had met on the train. I must admit it was a fantastic feeling. Unfortunately they all got off at Preston.
Back in Manchester I stopped to talk to a lass handing out anti BNP leaflets. The way things have been going in this country and with the MP's expenses scandals, their is a chance one of those morons could get elected in the up coming Euro elections.I've added a link below to the site of anti fascist magazine Searchlight. We wished each other well and I headed back to the Village.
Searchlight
The next day with Diana and the two Kates we went through to Liverpool on the train.
Unfortunately as recorded in a previous post the day fell flat.
The next day Diana and myself went shopping in Manchester where our faith was restored and we couldn't have been treated better. Diana bought a beautiful dress for the ballroom dancing that night.
It was a really fun evening with June Collins from Ireland giving us lessons. One thing I was thankful for was not falling over, but I really do have 2 left feet.
The next day Sunday we spent the afternoon at Trans-Fixed where June was having a make over and photo shoot. We also met up with Jane a really nice lass who I had met a couple of times before.
Diana had to head of home and I met up with June later on for a few drinks.
When the evening came to an end, June and myself parted company. I got talking to a woman outside the Annexe where I was staying. She seemed to have had a bit to much to drink and started coming on to me. I really was tempted. It has been a long time, but I thought no. If she had been a bit more sober I think I would have. She wasn't blazing, but enough to feel like it would be taking advantage.
5 wonderful days came to an end. I guess this account is a bit subdued. It did get overshadowed by the Transphobic incident in Liverpool and later on when the crap hit the fan for me.
Which ever way I look at it life has changed for me. I don't know if it was a good idea coming out about the MS on here. I was feeling very low. It has given me a new perspective on a few things. I've thought about what will happen if the worst happens, but then again what is the worst. I hope I never find out. It's not death I fear but extreme pain. From what I understand it does not kill many people. It's horrible thing when your own body turns against you. Ok this can't be cured, but what must be torture is when something can be treated or corrected and isn't due to the cost.
To me watching the carry on with these MP's lately and the billions the government wants to spend on Trident is just sick.
To end I'm really looking forward to the couple of days out in Manchester next week.
In a way it feels a bit like a new start, but it isn't really, only that I know myself better in a lot of ways, and some things are much clearer.
Life is for Living
Karen xxx
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Transphobia
I spent a wonderful 5 days out in Manchester travelling on the train through to Blackpool and Liverpool. Sadly in Liverpool in the Debenhams store, the security must have considered me as some sort of risk or perhaps I was about to break some law being dressed as I was (see photo taken a little later).
What happened? I wanted to try a dress on and went over towards the queue for the fitting rooms to ask an assistant if it would be ok. I always ask and would never dream of just walking in to the fitting rooms without asking. The shop assistants when I have been out shopping in Manchester and Blackpool have always been sensitive to my needs and other customers when I've needed to try clothes on.
I never got to speak to an assistant within 30 seconds of joining the queue a security guard came and announced 'YOU HAVE BEEN SPOTTED BY THE CONTROL ROOM' and proceeded to tell me I would have to use the changing rooms on another floor. He did say the Men's.
Other people were now looking at me and I just felt sick. I went back to my friends and put the dress back. I told them what had happened and they were horrified.
We left, on the way out I asked the security if this was standard policy to treat trans gendered people like this. He just said that the control room had spotted us and was told to tell me that I would have to use the men's changing room.
It seems to me that I was doing something wrong because of my appearance and that the security considered me a threat that the shop assistants would not be able to deal with in the women's department. I only wanted to ask about a dress and possibly try it on.
I've sent an email to the company about this it'll be interesting to see if I get a reply.
Sadly I don't know if I will bother to go back to Liverpool. Liverpool 1 is intimidating with the amount of security swarming round the place very visibly. It should have made us feel safer, but to be honest and I think my friends would agree we felt we were being constantly watched and not really welcome.
I really hope I get a positive reply. Liverpool is a city I have many fond memories of and it is a place I really wanted to get out in. In it's defence it was ladies day at Aintree which tends to bring out a lot of drunks and idiots so I am told, but really that is no excuse for why I was treated like that.
On a positive note in the MAC shop I got some good advice on my foundation now that they don't stock the full coverage and a sample of the Studio Fix liquid to try.
Cafe Rouge, I think it was where we had breakfast treated us really well. Even using the ladies in Lime Street Station I had to pass a police officer and had no problems.
The incident did give me a knock as it did my friend Diana who is from Liverpool.
Our faith was restored the next day when we were out shopping in Manchester. We could not have been treated better.
In conclusion I sincerely hope this is not normal practise in Liverpool 1
Thursday, 5 March 2009
In The Company Of Angels: One Year Gone
I noticed its a year since I joined the Angels Forum. 6th March 2008.
Joining Angels really was the catalyst for me getting out again in K mode.
It has been a fantastic year which has all been reported on this blog, except for the first time I ventured out in over 20 years at the end of April last year.
So in an attempt to correct that I've put a link to the post I wrote describing those 2 days if anyone is interested.
It was great for me reading it again.
In the past year I really have been in the company of Angels and may that long continue and all being well hopefully see you all soon.
Love
Karen xx
The Angels • View topic - Alive and Kicking: "Postby karen on Fri May 02, 2008 8:32 pm
Monday, 9 February 2009
Two Cities, Lots of Snow and Four Wonderful Days,
I'm back home recovering from an amazing week where I spent more than half of it as Karen. I managed a couple of firsts for me, which would have scared the hell out of me a year ago. One thing that came out was I felt so comfortable with myself dressed up more than I ever have before I didn't want it to end. It just felt so right if that makes sense. I guess reality has set in now and I'm back to being bob for awhile. I can't complain I'm really enjoying my life. There are people suffering real bad, some I know and my heart goes out to them.
Any way if you have a few minutes let me take you back to my latest adventures.
Monday 2nd February
I set off for Manchester amid some of the worst snow, apparently the country has seen for years. Luckily for me the worst was in the South of England. I got to Manchester ok and into my room at the Rem. Now this time I didn't take much with me clothes wise because I intended to go shopping and needed to leave room in the bag. Saying that I still had a fair bit.
I had arranged to go shopping with Kate and Mrs Kate the next day, but more about that later. I didn't think anyone would be out in the Village on a Monday night especially with such horrendous weather.
Diana said she would come out. I was really happy. The last couple of times I'd been down I hadn't got to spend much time her. Diana is a really good friend and it is always a pleasure to be in her company. I didn't realise she was having a few problems and it took a lot for her to come out. I hope they clear up soon.
We did have a problem meeting up due to a mobile phone problem which Diana has recounted in her blog, I was at fault for not going out to look for her for which I'm really sorry.
We did eventually meet up outside the Rem pub. I must admit she looked fantastic in the horrible weather. We went to the Genghis Khan restaurant where they told us we had enough time for a couple of bowls. We looked at each other and said 'ok', unsure what they meant.
We had to put whatever meat or seafood in a bowl along with other selections of veg and sauces or other spices and hand it to the chef who stir fried it on a big hot plate. We made up a bowl each. I went for pork and a mixture,left it for the chef and we sat down. The waitress came back with the food and chopsticks. I hadn't used those in years. The memory came back and I think I did ok. My next bowl was a chilli beef. I think I over did it with the chilli. I enjoyed it and would like to go back again sometime.
We moved on to Via for a few drinks and a gossip. It was karaoke night so we went for a wander upstairs among the strange tables and chairs. Diana took a few pictures one of which she sent to her blog.
We had a lovely evening, catching up and it was a wonderful start to a magical 3 days in Manchester.
Tuesday 3rd February
Kate and Mrs Kate had planned a trip to the Trafford Centre. Now I had said before that I wanted to go on a train in K mode. We arranged a place where Kate would pick me up in her car.
I set of about 9 30am to Manchester Piccadilly Station. I was dressed in some feminine jeans brown top black cardigan my green coat and black flat heeled suede boots. I tried to go as easy on the make up as possible. My attempt at trying not to stand out.
In Piccadilly I had to wait about half an hour for my train. I got my ticket from the machine and had a wander round the station which was reasonably busy. I had no problems except nearly getting run over in the stampede by the passengers of another train.
I really felt like just another woman going about her business. It was quite a feeling. On the platform a gentleman motioned for me to board the train before him. I couldn't believe I was doing this with no comments I heard or anybody laughing. I had prepared myself for such, but nothing except maybe a couple of looks. I think as long as you dress not to stand out most people are to busy to notice or care about other people. The journey only took about 20 minutes. I got off the train with a few other people and met Kate outside. I was buzzing. It's amazing how such a mundane thing like travelling on a train can have such an effect.
We raced off in Kate's car to the Trafford Centre. Mrs Kate met up with us while we were having a coffee.
The 2 Kates had been out shopping in the Trafford Centre before. Now Kate I would say passes no problem she looked great, very smart and classy similar to her wife.
We went shopping where I bought among other things a green dress that I absolutely love and had to wear that night. All shopped out we headed back to Manchester where Kate dropped me off at the Rem.
We met up again for a meal in Velvet, a few drinks and a chat. We had a lovely evening. It was great to chat without music blaring in the background for a change.
The night came to a close all to soon.
Wednesday 4th February
The 2 Kates had arranged to meet me in the Village for about 11am. We were going to the Manchester Art Gallery and then I would show them round the city centre. Neither had been round the centre for about 15 years even though they live relatively local. I was up and ready early, so I decided to go for a walk outside the Village. No problems again. I did get wolf whistled as I passed a construction site. They were probably taking the mickey, but I didn't care.
I met up with the 2 Kates and we went off to the gallery. I love art galleries, but this was a first in K mode.We decided to have a coffee before we had a look round and I told of a vivid dream I had of visiting a gallery in K mode a few months ago. The gallery was fascinating i think I will be back for another visit. It was literally a dream come true. It was now time to leave and go shopping, so we headed towards the Arndale.
We went round the Arndale and I took them to a shop across the road which is inexpensive, but has some nice clothes. I think we all bought something there. Mrs Kate seemed to be getting right into being out shopping with us. She gave me some good advice. We had a bite to eat in M&S and chatted some more.
It had been a fantastic 2 days out with the 2 Kates. 2 good friends who are a joy to be with.
It came to that time to get back and get ready for the evening.
Wednesday Evening February 4th
6 of us had arranged to meet up in Tribeco and then on for a meal in Eden where I had booked a table earlier. On the way I passed a bloke who seemed to bleeding from his eye. I stopped and asked if he was ok. He told me a group of lads had given him a kicking and he had made his way here where he would be reasonably safe. He said they demanded money and because he didn't have any they set about him. He thanked me for my concern and said he'd be ok. He asked me very politely if I could give him a cigarette. I did and some money to get a coffee and something to eat.
I went into Tribeco and met another good friend, Lisa. Emma, Becky, and the 2 Kates turned up not long afterwards.
Emma I had met before at the Angels Christmas meal and Becky a quite stunning tall lass who I hadn't met before. The 2 Kates turned up as well with Kate wearing purple leggings and a top she had bought earlier in the day. she looked really good as did Mrs Kate.
After the meal we went to the Manchester Concord where I had to pay my membership for the year.
It was on then to Naps where even I was up dancing. I think Kate's feet were starting to rebel after all the walking we had done over the past 2 days.
Lisa and Becky had to leave early, about midnight which left the 4 of us. We ended up downstairs where it was quieter. I think about 2 am we decided to part company.
It was the end of a wonderful 3 days in Manchester for me, but the week wasn't over yet.
Thursday 5th February
Heading home on the train. I thought about how lucky I've been, having made some great friends in the past year and how much they have helped me. Lisa and Kate when I first came down to Manchester. Diana when we went shopping for the first time and Kate and Mrs Kate helping me get on that train. Those are just a few things I could not have done without their help.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
On the train back I put a short post up about what I'd been up to on the Angels Forum. It was the first time I'd done that in awhile.
Saturday 7th February
Newcastle is a city I hadn't been to in years and that's where I was heading next for a night out. This would be another step into the unknown for me in K mode.
Bea Groves who posts quite a lot on the Angels Forum and has become recently a TG activist in the North East, had invited me down. I finally met her briefly along with her partner Karen at the Angels Christmas meal last year.
Due to problems getting a hotel Bea invited me to stay at her house.
Bea picked me up at the station just after 4pm. She said Karen would be round at about 6 30 to run us into the city. I must admit it was probably the quickest I've ever got ready. I just kept it simple a blue top and jeans. I think I looked reasonably smart.Bea looked good in a purple skirt and blouse. I think that colour really suits her.
Karen came round and we set off. It was absolutely freezing and icy, but at least it had stopped snowing. We were going first to a bar called Twist in the Pink Triangle.
Now Bea had warned me that although it was known as a gay area you got the whole LGBT, Straight and everything in between. Just about the whole spectrum of human life.
Twist is situated by the Life Center which seemed to be apt. We were first there and Gemma, Evie and Den soon turned up.
Gemma a TS lass I've found since is a talented artist. Evie from Essex I've read her posts on Angels told me about her trip to Vegas with the Boudoir girls. Den from what I understood is female to male TS.
We left Twist to go to Puccinis the restaurant where we would eat.
Puccinis is an ordinary Italian restaurant well outside the pink triangle. Bea told me the walk which took us past the train station had become like a rite of passage for some tgirls. I could see how it could be a scary prospect with the amount of people. Groups of blokes and women a lot of them on a binge. Apparently it was worse nearer the city centre where they really go for it.
We had no problems at all. It was actually a great experience. The men ignored us or just didn't notice because we didn't really stand out. I think most of them were to busy looking at the genetic women who some of them must have been freezing because they were wearing that little. There were a few women who wanted to talk to us. Some of them for some reason wanted to hug me.
One genetic girl asked me,' are you a woman?'
I replied, 'What do you think'.
She paused for a moment and then asked me,' Have you had a sex change?'
I've never been asked that before. When I said no she seemed genuinely surprised. She didn't seem to be taking the micky.
At Puccinis I enjoyed the meal and getting to know everyone better. The couple of times I went outside for a smoke on my own,loads of people passed me including gangs of lads. I got the occasional glance, but nothing else.
After the meal we walked back to a pub called The Yard in the triangle. The walk back was busier but we had no problems.
The Yard to my eyes was busy. There were a few tgirls there. Gemma introduced me so it was lots of hugs all round. Apparently it was a quiet night. Outside for a smoke I was getting more hugs from genetic girls. The Yard itself seemed to be full of all human life itself.
I had a great time apparently the nightclub the Powerhouse is open to 6am. I think that would have been pushing it. Gemma told me it's really good in the summer.
The night came to an end all to soon.
Back at Bea's the pair of us had a chat about various subjects TG related. I wish her all the best in her endevours and thanks for putting me up and Karen, Gemma,Evie and Den for a wonderful night. I'll definitely be back sometime in the near future.
In Conclusion
4 wonderful days, good friends and some fantastic people. A couple of firsts, a real confidence boost. Loads of shopping. What more could a girl ask for.
A year ago I could not imagine doing all of this. It's been nearly a year since I joined the Angels Forum which has been the catalyst. I must say it saddens me to see some of the stuff that has been posted on there lately.
I don't know how far I'm going to go or what the future holds. I know I'm somewhere on the TG spectrum. I feel I've gone beyond being a transvestite or crossdresser. There are plenty people who would disagree, but thats their opinion. I have a need to get outside presenting as female and try to do things that give me more freedom. Shopping and going on the train are 2 examples. I have a lot more to do and places to go yet.
Genetically I'm male and always will be and I also enjoy that side of my life. Actually I feel there are 2 aspects that have become integrated.
I know one thing my confidence has improved so much.
Love
Karen xx
Any way if you have a few minutes let me take you back to my latest adventures.
Monday 2nd February
I set off for Manchester amid some of the worst snow, apparently the country has seen for years. Luckily for me the worst was in the South of England. I got to Manchester ok and into my room at the Rem. Now this time I didn't take much with me clothes wise because I intended to go shopping and needed to leave room in the bag. Saying that I still had a fair bit.
I had arranged to go shopping with Kate and Mrs Kate the next day, but more about that later. I didn't think anyone would be out in the Village on a Monday night especially with such horrendous weather.
Diana said she would come out. I was really happy. The last couple of times I'd been down I hadn't got to spend much time her. Diana is a really good friend and it is always a pleasure to be in her company. I didn't realise she was having a few problems and it took a lot for her to come out. I hope they clear up soon.
We did have a problem meeting up due to a mobile phone problem which Diana has recounted in her blog, I was at fault for not going out to look for her for which I'm really sorry.
We did eventually meet up outside the Rem pub. I must admit she looked fantastic in the horrible weather. We went to the Genghis Khan restaurant where they told us we had enough time for a couple of bowls. We looked at each other and said 'ok', unsure what they meant.
We had to put whatever meat or seafood in a bowl along with other selections of veg and sauces or other spices and hand it to the chef who stir fried it on a big hot plate. We made up a bowl each. I went for pork and a mixture,left it for the chef and we sat down. The waitress came back with the food and chopsticks. I hadn't used those in years. The memory came back and I think I did ok. My next bowl was a chilli beef. I think I over did it with the chilli. I enjoyed it and would like to go back again sometime.
We moved on to Via for a few drinks and a gossip. It was karaoke night so we went for a wander upstairs among the strange tables and chairs. Diana took a few pictures one of which she sent to her blog.
We had a lovely evening, catching up and it was a wonderful start to a magical 3 days in Manchester.
Tuesday 3rd February
Kate and Mrs Kate had planned a trip to the Trafford Centre. Now I had said before that I wanted to go on a train in K mode. We arranged a place where Kate would pick me up in her car.
I set of about 9 30am to Manchester Piccadilly Station. I was dressed in some feminine jeans brown top black cardigan my green coat and black flat heeled suede boots. I tried to go as easy on the make up as possible. My attempt at trying not to stand out.
In Piccadilly I had to wait about half an hour for my train. I got my ticket from the machine and had a wander round the station which was reasonably busy. I had no problems except nearly getting run over in the stampede by the passengers of another train.
I really felt like just another woman going about her business. It was quite a feeling. On the platform a gentleman motioned for me to board the train before him. I couldn't believe I was doing this with no comments I heard or anybody laughing. I had prepared myself for such, but nothing except maybe a couple of looks. I think as long as you dress not to stand out most people are to busy to notice or care about other people. The journey only took about 20 minutes. I got off the train with a few other people and met Kate outside. I was buzzing. It's amazing how such a mundane thing like travelling on a train can have such an effect.
We raced off in Kate's car to the Trafford Centre. Mrs Kate met up with us while we were having a coffee.
The 2 Kates had been out shopping in the Trafford Centre before. Now Kate I would say passes no problem she looked great, very smart and classy similar to her wife.
We went shopping where I bought among other things a green dress that I absolutely love and had to wear that night. All shopped out we headed back to Manchester where Kate dropped me off at the Rem.
We met up again for a meal in Velvet, a few drinks and a chat. We had a lovely evening. It was great to chat without music blaring in the background for a change.
The night came to a close all to soon.
Wednesday 4th February
The 2 Kates had arranged to meet me in the Village for about 11am. We were going to the Manchester Art Gallery and then I would show them round the city centre. Neither had been round the centre for about 15 years even though they live relatively local. I was up and ready early, so I decided to go for a walk outside the Village. No problems again. I did get wolf whistled as I passed a construction site. They were probably taking the mickey, but I didn't care.
I met up with the 2 Kates and we went off to the gallery. I love art galleries, but this was a first in K mode.We decided to have a coffee before we had a look round and I told of a vivid dream I had of visiting a gallery in K mode a few months ago. The gallery was fascinating i think I will be back for another visit. It was literally a dream come true. It was now time to leave and go shopping, so we headed towards the Arndale.
We went round the Arndale and I took them to a shop across the road which is inexpensive, but has some nice clothes. I think we all bought something there. Mrs Kate seemed to be getting right into being out shopping with us. She gave me some good advice. We had a bite to eat in M&S and chatted some more.
It had been a fantastic 2 days out with the 2 Kates. 2 good friends who are a joy to be with.
It came to that time to get back and get ready for the evening.
Wednesday Evening February 4th
6 of us had arranged to meet up in Tribeco and then on for a meal in Eden where I had booked a table earlier. On the way I passed a bloke who seemed to bleeding from his eye. I stopped and asked if he was ok. He told me a group of lads had given him a kicking and he had made his way here where he would be reasonably safe. He said they demanded money and because he didn't have any they set about him. He thanked me for my concern and said he'd be ok. He asked me very politely if I could give him a cigarette. I did and some money to get a coffee and something to eat.
I went into Tribeco and met another good friend, Lisa. Emma, Becky, and the 2 Kates turned up not long afterwards.
Emma I had met before at the Angels Christmas meal and Becky a quite stunning tall lass who I hadn't met before. The 2 Kates turned up as well with Kate wearing purple leggings and a top she had bought earlier in the day. she looked really good as did Mrs Kate.
After the meal we went to the Manchester Concord where I had to pay my membership for the year.
It was on then to Naps where even I was up dancing. I think Kate's feet were starting to rebel after all the walking we had done over the past 2 days.
Lisa and Becky had to leave early, about midnight which left the 4 of us. We ended up downstairs where it was quieter. I think about 2 am we decided to part company.
It was the end of a wonderful 3 days in Manchester for me, but the week wasn't over yet.
Thursday 5th February
Heading home on the train. I thought about how lucky I've been, having made some great friends in the past year and how much they have helped me. Lisa and Kate when I first came down to Manchester. Diana when we went shopping for the first time and Kate and Mrs Kate helping me get on that train. Those are just a few things I could not have done without their help.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
On the train back I put a short post up about what I'd been up to on the Angels Forum. It was the first time I'd done that in awhile.
Saturday 7th February
Newcastle is a city I hadn't been to in years and that's where I was heading next for a night out. This would be another step into the unknown for me in K mode.
Bea Groves who posts quite a lot on the Angels Forum and has become recently a TG activist in the North East, had invited me down. I finally met her briefly along with her partner Karen at the Angels Christmas meal last year.
Due to problems getting a hotel Bea invited me to stay at her house.
Bea picked me up at the station just after 4pm. She said Karen would be round at about 6 30 to run us into the city. I must admit it was probably the quickest I've ever got ready. I just kept it simple a blue top and jeans. I think I looked reasonably smart.Bea looked good in a purple skirt and blouse. I think that colour really suits her.
Karen came round and we set off. It was absolutely freezing and icy, but at least it had stopped snowing. We were going first to a bar called Twist in the Pink Triangle.
Now Bea had warned me that although it was known as a gay area you got the whole LGBT, Straight and everything in between. Just about the whole spectrum of human life.
Twist is situated by the Life Center which seemed to be apt. We were first there and Gemma, Evie and Den soon turned up.
Gemma a TS lass I've found since is a talented artist. Evie from Essex I've read her posts on Angels told me about her trip to Vegas with the Boudoir girls. Den from what I understood is female to male TS.
We left Twist to go to Puccinis the restaurant where we would eat.
Puccinis is an ordinary Italian restaurant well outside the pink triangle. Bea told me the walk which took us past the train station had become like a rite of passage for some tgirls. I could see how it could be a scary prospect with the amount of people. Groups of blokes and women a lot of them on a binge. Apparently it was worse nearer the city centre where they really go for it.
We had no problems at all. It was actually a great experience. The men ignored us or just didn't notice because we didn't really stand out. I think most of them were to busy looking at the genetic women who some of them must have been freezing because they were wearing that little. There were a few women who wanted to talk to us. Some of them for some reason wanted to hug me.
One genetic girl asked me,' are you a woman?'
I replied, 'What do you think'.
She paused for a moment and then asked me,' Have you had a sex change?'
I've never been asked that before. When I said no she seemed genuinely surprised. She didn't seem to be taking the micky.
At Puccinis I enjoyed the meal and getting to know everyone better. The couple of times I went outside for a smoke on my own,loads of people passed me including gangs of lads. I got the occasional glance, but nothing else.
After the meal we walked back to a pub called The Yard in the triangle. The walk back was busier but we had no problems.
The Yard to my eyes was busy. There were a few tgirls there. Gemma introduced me so it was lots of hugs all round. Apparently it was a quiet night. Outside for a smoke I was getting more hugs from genetic girls. The Yard itself seemed to be full of all human life itself.
I had a great time apparently the nightclub the Powerhouse is open to 6am. I think that would have been pushing it. Gemma told me it's really good in the summer.
The night came to an end all to soon.
Back at Bea's the pair of us had a chat about various subjects TG related. I wish her all the best in her endevours and thanks for putting me up and Karen, Gemma,Evie and Den for a wonderful night. I'll definitely be back sometime in the near future.
In Conclusion
4 wonderful days, good friends and some fantastic people. A couple of firsts, a real confidence boost. Loads of shopping. What more could a girl ask for.
A year ago I could not imagine doing all of this. It's been nearly a year since I joined the Angels Forum which has been the catalyst. I must say it saddens me to see some of the stuff that has been posted on there lately.
I don't know how far I'm going to go or what the future holds. I know I'm somewhere on the TG spectrum. I feel I've gone beyond being a transvestite or crossdresser. There are plenty people who would disagree, but thats their opinion. I have a need to get outside presenting as female and try to do things that give me more freedom. Shopping and going on the train are 2 examples. I have a lot more to do and places to go yet.
Genetically I'm male and always will be and I also enjoy that side of my life. Actually I feel there are 2 aspects that have become integrated.
I know one thing my confidence has improved so much.
Love
Karen xx
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Early Christmas (Part Two 13/12/08)
Woke up on the Saturday morning at about 9 30am so had a few hours sleep. It took me about an hour and half to get ready. Lisa was up as well so when we were ready to go I contacted Di. She sounded a little worse for wear and said she would meet us later.
Lisa and myself headed of out. First stop was Villagio where we were having the meal.
Lisa had to finalise the number that would be attending. I got an insight into what it took to organise the meal with girls coming from all over the British Isles. It was billed as the Northern Angels Meal, but there were girls from all over. Lisa had done a fantastic job. Lisa runs the Northern Angels meals which are held every month during the year which have been used by some girls as a springboard for getting outside, me included. At Sparkle they had the TG Oscars,she should be up for one next year.
We headed off to the shops on King St. Lisa went into Hobbs, not really my favourite shop so I said I was going to look into Monsoon down the road.
I love the clothes in Monsoon, but my nemesis came to the surface again. All the tops and dresses had short or 3/4 length sleeves. I've got a problem with the hair on my arms which I've gone into else where on the other blog. It's something I really want to sort out.
This is where I lost Lisa. I had a look round the shops to see if I could find her. Now Lisa is used to being out on her own shopping I am not. I thought about ringing her and then thought I'll do it later, this was an oppertunity to see if I can do this myself. I decided to head for the Arndale Centre.
I didn't feel nervous at all just felt really good.
Wandering round the clothes shops I decided to get some false eyelashes from MAC. I wore them that night, nobody said anything to me so hopefully they looked alright.
Eventually I met up with Diana and she got a picture of me with a very skinny person in a panda suit (see above). We went for a coffee and got in touch with Lisa she was actually just round the corner.
We met up a bit more shopping, I bought a skinny pair of jeans. I don't know if I'll ever wear them out.
It came time to head back to get changed for the meal. On the way back I told Lisa I had to find a ATM. I knew there was one in the train station which was up the road from the hotel. I said I wouldn't be long. I also had an ulterior motive.
Next year when I come down to Manchester I want to stay for a few days instead of one or two, but more than that I want to travel round the north west in K mode which means using the train.
Piccadilily station was very busy. I had a wander round got some money, I don't think anybody took much notice of me. The next step is to actually get on a train, which I think I can do.
Leaving the station I went into a newsagent and put 2 lines on the thunderball lottery for a bit of fun.
Back at the hotel I got changed, war paint on. I did have fun with the eye lashes.
We went to the bar where Lisa had arranged for everybody to meet.
In the bar I met Bea who I only know from the Angels Forum. Now perhaps I shouldn't say this but photos I've seen of her don't do her justice, she looked amazing.
We headed of to Villagio's for the meal where I met up with the 2 Irish girls Diedre and Natasha also I was seated with Emma, Sarah, Trisha, Kate and Mrs Kate.
Emma was relating how she wasn't out to her wife. The 2 Kates told of their experience which I could relate to. Emma asked if I was married and at that moment a waiter rushed past with a burning plate. Apparently Diana had set herself on fire. It wasn't serious thankfully. I was glad I didn't have to answer Emma's question. Everyone was really enjoying themselves and I know people feel awkward when I tell them she passed away. Don't get me wrong I love talking about her, but then didn't seem the right time. I had a good chat with Sarah who I had met in Liverpool at the April Ashley talk. I ended up going outside with Linzi for a smoke. I know so much for my rant on here about smoking. I do feel a complete idiot.
The meal came to an end and we all moved up to Velvet. I had one drink and then when back to the hotel to get some more money. I said to Diana I'd see her in Naps.
I got to Naps before nearly everyone. I got talking to Rachel and we realised we had chatted in the Angels chat room. A few people had called it a night, but there was quite a few of us left.We ended up there near to closing time.
It was a fantastic night meeting so many new people.
I felt a bit sad saying my farewells for this year. I know it my last time this year in K mode. I know it's not Christmas yet, but this is the first time in years I've enjoyed this time of year.
Oh before I go any further, if your wondering did I win on the lottery, yes £20, another first for Karen.
I said before this has been an amazing year for me and I would like to thank Lisa, Diana, Kate and Mrs Kate, everyone I've met from the Manchester Concord and the Angels Forum and anybody who reads this have a:-
HAPPY CHRISTMAS and NEW YEAR
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
Early Christmas Part One
I had another fantastic weekend down in Manchester which culminated with the Northern Angels Christmas Meal.
On the Friday, with Lisa and Diana we went out to the Trafford Centre for some shopping. I spent to much at the MAC counter again. One of the assistants applied some of the blusher to my cheeks that I was interested in. It was a nice touch, I've seen sro many women trying all sorts of make up at counters, it was nice to join them.
Lisa had a make over booked so Diana and myself went for a wander.
I bought a nice pair of black boots which are so comfortable.
We caught up with Lisa and went for something to eat. 3 girls out shopping, at the beginning of the year I never thought I'd be doing this, now when in Manchester I just go shopping without a second thought as Karen. I say without a second thought, I've always been with either Diana or Lisa or both, but that was about to change.
It was back to the hotel and a quick change and out to Naps.
In the end I think the day had caught up with Lisa so I ended up going to meet Diana in Naps on my own. We stayed to the death and I got back to the hotel sometime after 4am. On the way back I passed within 20 feet of a group of teenagers. In K mode that would have worried me at one time. If the worst came to the worst I knew I could get to the hotel and cause a commotion. I walked passed with no problem, there was a couple of girls among them and one seemed to be getting her face snogged off.
One thing I should do is get another attack alarm, the last one didn't work.
That was the end of another fantastic night out. It would be about 5 hours sleep and up for another day that capped a wonderful year for me.
On the Friday, with Lisa and Diana we went out to the Trafford Centre for some shopping. I spent to much at the MAC counter again. One of the assistants applied some of the blusher to my cheeks that I was interested in. It was a nice touch, I've seen sro many women trying all sorts of make up at counters, it was nice to join them.
Lisa had a make over booked so Diana and myself went for a wander.
I bought a nice pair of black boots which are so comfortable.
We caught up with Lisa and went for something to eat. 3 girls out shopping, at the beginning of the year I never thought I'd be doing this, now when in Manchester I just go shopping without a second thought as Karen. I say without a second thought, I've always been with either Diana or Lisa or both, but that was about to change.
It was back to the hotel and a quick change and out to Naps.
In the end I think the day had caught up with Lisa so I ended up going to meet Diana in Naps on my own. We stayed to the death and I got back to the hotel sometime after 4am. On the way back I passed within 20 feet of a group of teenagers. In K mode that would have worried me at one time. If the worst came to the worst I knew I could get to the hotel and cause a commotion. I walked passed with no problem, there was a couple of girls among them and one seemed to be getting her face snogged off.
One thing I should do is get another attack alarm, the last one didn't work.
That was the end of another fantastic night out. It would be about 5 hours sleep and up for another day that capped a wonderful year for me.
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